PTSD – A Way Out.com A mindful way to heal

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I studied and studied, then isolated my trigger experiences.

My solar plexus would be violently jolted, numbing, then freezing me. Breathing became difficult, unknown fear paralyzed me.

So I ran, avoided, denied and tried to think my way out.

I feared that next explosion.

This scenario repeated itself for years.

Then I realized after being paralyzed with cortisol and adrenaline, ten minutes later everything calmed.

I was fine, just the same, ten minutes later.

So, if no real harm ever happened, why did I fear the next explosion.

That’s part of the irrational nature of PTSD.

We can not see its weaknesses.

There were no real consequences. Nothing permanent.

For me, I described it as a bluff.

It is a bully, it threatens with damage and has the key to our fight or flight mechanism, but it has no teeth.

Follow your next trigger exploding, feel all of it.

Feel its strength without resisting, then follow it as it fades in short time.

I realized my fight or flight had fired over and over without damaging me.

Be a detective.

Follow a trigger exploding all the way to feeling calm again.

Observe, not judge it.

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Fight or Flight (CYP) – Psychology Tools

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We do everything in our power to stop our fight or flight mechanism from firing. Unfortunately, we think this will help us heal.

In the beginning, showers first thing in the morning, were planning strategies, trying to navigate my day mentally, avoiding as many trigger situations as possible.

My anxiety, panic and fear became acute. My nervous system started to anticipate each new event as a possible threat.

Inside my head, the world had turned dangerous, very anxious. What the hell had happened to my mind?

My mind was a prison, my nervous system the invisible bars, my thoughts, the evil guards.

All that is the exact wrong mindset.

Triggers are not dangerous. It is the bodies defense mechanism trying to protect us.

A natural body function.

PTSD has hijacked this mechanism and added trauma fear into the mix.

Being abused as a child, I developed a vivid imagination, in blazing colors.

While hiking, I imagined being in the movie, “The Last of the Mohicans”, being chased, running for my life. About a mile later my fight or flight exploded.

Cortisol and adrenaline jolted my solar plexus. I learned to use theses chemicals for fuel hiking harder.

Missing was any connection to any trigger or trauma thought.

My fight or flight was by itself. PTSD had nothing to do with this explosion.

It felt the exact same as a PTSD trigger.

Trauma memories bring the emotional fear but add nothing to the mechanism.

The mechanism is our friend. Hard to believe, I know.

Remember these memories are distorted, stored under extreme duress

and in bits and pieces.

I swear if you befriend your fight or flight mechanism, half of your PTSD will be repaired.

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