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Brene Brown:
When women talk about the shame of being sexually abused or raped, they associate most of the shame with the pain of being defined by their trauma.
The events are, of course, horrific and can have a lasting effect.
But the social-community reaction to their experience—and the attendant loss of identity and the right to “be normal”—is just as painful, and often produces the more enduring shame.
• If she has a father who could do that do her, what does that mean about her?
• She’ll never be the same—she’s damaged.
• She’ll never be whole after that.
• I don’t see how she’ll ever be a good__________(fill in the blank: mother, partner, vice president).”
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My two cents: How do we construct our self-image after trauma?
Is the “She will never be the same” accurate?
How do our family, our peers, our friends treat us after shameful trauma?
Are we defined by this experience?
I know my college girlfriend being gang raped was never the same.
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 