Posts Tagged ‘motions’

Different impressions of Ptsd


My daughter has a child psych degree and years of experience in the research of children.

We differ on certain things, her impression of intrusive thoughts is much more benign than mine.

She sees control with practice and the pattern of thoughts changing over time. I agree until we get triggered, survival mode tells a much different story.

Intrusive thoughts become the monster.

She thinks community and trust are important while being a loner, being more isolated, and not trusting have a negative impact.

Can not say I disagree with that, how many seriously abused kids trust or have a positive community around them.

Many abused kids go to prison as adults, is that the community that helps heal? Check out the ACE study detailing all the extra diseases, mental disorders, and early death.

She thinks the brain has plasticity but changing hard wiring from childhood is near impossible.

Plus thinking we can reverse the damage of abuse, the larger size of the amygdala or the undersized hippocampus is never going to happen.

I agree wholeheartedly.

As she says hurt people end up hurting other people.

There is a percentage that repeats the abuse of childhood on their kids.

She pushes me to find a hobby, join a group, take a class, make attachments and go meet people.

This terrifies me as I hear her words, the risk sends me in the opposite direction.

I am not like others, I am not part of the crowd and have no desire to participate.

I can give you a list of groups that ended with me leaving, triggered, and pissed.

My trust has the depth of the kiddie pool, I have a toe in the water but the other is ready to bolt for home at the first sign of PTSD.

We must see how irrational we are, how frustrating being our friend can be.

My daughter told me it was hard putting up with “My Crazy Ass.”

I wholeheartedly agree.

It is so humbling that damage in childhood still steals my well-being at 70.

I did not sign up to be abused when I was the most vulnerable and dependant in my life.



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