Posts Tagged ‘MINDFULNESS’

..Is PTSD real? Is PTSD fear real?

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Is PTSD real? Is PTSD fear real?

The firing of our defense mechanism along with the chemicals cortisol and adrenaline being secreted is real, and powerful.

How about our trauma, and intrusive thoughts, are they real?

They were real at one time and now exist as implicit memory. Are implicit memories dangerous?

We get triggered when our implicit memories surface, so yes we fear them, we try to avoid them.

Think back to when a trigger fired violently, how real was the fear?

Seems like a flawed defense mechanism that leads to avoidance, hypervigilance, and suffering.

The more vulnerable we feel, the stronger our PTSD symptoms become.

No one else can feel or see what lies inside us.

A frightening trigger is a mundane event for a normal person.

What I may sense as life-threatening, holds no danger for the masses.

A strange mental illness, childhood abuse.
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PTSD activated: What’s it like

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My symptoms: A sort of hypervigilant state exists, an imminent danger feels close, and confusion reigns supreme.

It is like having another entity inside me, he comes out when PTSD danger arrives.

He has his own power source and control of this other world.

The vehicle used to influence is thought, worry, and doubt, reinforcing the abstract fear.

My nervous system heightens with my chest tight and my breath shallow.

The heightened feeling of danger drives my avoidance.

I retreat to my room, only going out for necessities.

Safety seems to be the ultimate goal. We never felt safe as a child, that feeling never completely leaves.

People feel extremely dangerous, old betrayals surface in my consciousness.

It is like I have entered the twilight zone of PTSD.

This unnatural state is extremely unhealthy, filled with depression and suffering.

I fight an internal battle most people never experience.

How do experience PTSD?
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Healing what hurts: Sharing the truth about chronic pain. By Jessica DuLong, CNN

Dr. Haider Warraich


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CNN)”Medicine is nothing more than a misguided miseducation in mortal misery.”

That’s not something you’d expect to hear from a doctor, especially one with the bona fides of Haider Warraich, a Brigham and Women’s Hospital physician and assistant professor at Harvard Medical School.

The “misguided miseducation” of Western medicine, he argues, stems from “turning persons into patients and healers into providers, and by separating the body from the mind, physical sensations from emotional states and pain from suffering.”

Warraich examines chronic pain in his new book, “The Song of Our Scars.”

The misery that Warraich investigates in his new book, “The Song of Our Scars: The Untold Story of Pain,” is chronic pain, which affects an estimated 1 in 5 people worldwide, including Warraich. That’s about 1.5 billion people.

Longtime battles with debilitating back pain nearly thwarted his medical career. Today, he brings his experiences as both physician and patient to his examination of the nature and history of pain. Condemning modern medicine’s failures, he calls for a more holistic, interdisciplinary approach.

CNN: What is the biggest misconception people have about pain?

Dr. Haider Warraich: Almost everything we know about pain and how we treat it is wrong. Both patients and physicians have been taught that chronic pain is essentially acute pain prolonged.

But while acute pain rises up the spinal cord to the brain, chronic pain can often descend down from the brain, often without any trigger from below.

The fallacy that treatments for acute pain will work for chronic pain has, in part, led to the opioid epidemic and prevented people from treatments that might have given more relief.

Western medicine has tried to constrain pain to strictly physical sensations, based on the tools it has to address those. But pain is not purely physical.

CNN: What is pain, if not physical sensation?

Warraich: The science suggests what many patients know to be true: Pain is a combination of physical sensation, emotional trauma and memory. Brain imaging has revealed that the emotional brain is far more involved in the experience of chronic pain than acute pain. To the nervous system, chronic pain is most often akin to an emotion we feel in a part of our body.

By considering pain as a purely physical phenomenon, we limit treatments to pills and procedures, preventing people from getting the mental health interventions that are probably as, if not more, effective. The ideal approach to pain management is interdisciplinary.

CNN: What does that entail?

Warraich: The chief function of pain is to direct all your energies and attention to it by inducing fear that your body is under threat. For example, when I had terrible back pain, I worried that exercise might leave me paralyzed or that my spine might snap in half. Alternative modalities help us reframe how we think about pain.
Alternative treatments such as cognitive therapy or physical rehab can help patients with chronic pain.

An interdisciplinary approach provides patients with access to different options, including cognitive therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, exercise, physical rehab and even hypnosis. Particularly effective is pain reprocessing therapy. Developed specifically for people in chronic pain, it helps to defang pain’s fear component.

The evidence supporting the effectiveness of alternative treatments like these is often more compelling than for many of the common procedures and prescriptions that we typically provide our patients.

CNN: With such strong science supporting alternative approaches, why have standard pain protocols remained so crude?

Warraich: One limiting factor is that doctors and nurses are highly unlikely to have lived with serious illness. They’re like chefs who have never tasted their own food. Based on our training as physicians, our thinking can wind up rigid.

Because some providers don’t take patients’ pain seriously, patients worry that the moment that they bring up their emotional state, their pain will instantly be dismissed.

Until physicians’ approaches shift, patients are going to struggle with accepting how closely linked things like mental health, depression, anxiety or history of previous trauma are to how much our bodies hurt.
Recognizing that pain is, in fact, worsened by psychological factors makes it no less real.

Continued in responses

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PTSD: Trust


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We were betrayed by our caregivers. Trust never had a chance.

The place where trust originates is a stew filled with danger and violence.

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Trust is a foreign concept, an abstract thing like love, we have no idea what they are about.

There will never be a core of trust to lean on.

People have always felt untrustworthy.

Think about that.

Is it why we isolate and avoid, never trusting beyond our shallow connections.

At 70 I avoid being around people as much as possible.

The reason: Abstract fear, awkwardness, anxiety, triggers, and a lack of desire to mingle with strangers.

Complex PTSD has damaged my life, and narrowed my experience.

Oh, I have high hopes of healing but life is painful and humiliating.

Normal people desire attachment, I feel the opposite.
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PTSD: Our Grief

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From “The Grief Recovery Handbook”

“After thirty years of working with grievers, we have identified several other losses, including loss of trust, loss of safety, loss of control of ones body (physical or sexual abuse).

Society still does not recognize these losses as grief issues.

Loss of trust events are experienced by almost everyone and can have a major, lifelong negative impact.

You may have experienced a loss of trust in a parent, a loss of trust in God, or a loss of trust in any other relationship.

Is loss of trust a grief issue?

The answer is yes.

And the problem of dealing with the grief it causes remains the same grief is normal and natural, but we have been I’ll prepared to deal with it.

Grief is about a broken heart, not a broken brain.

All efforts to heal the heart with the head fail because the head is the wrong tool for the job.

It’s like trying paint with a hammer—it only makes a mess.”
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Is your PTSD grief just love with no place to go?

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“Grief, I’ve learned, is just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”

― Jamie Anderson
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This was a part of a post on a great blog I follow “Don’t Lose Hope”

I had a quick, emotional reaction (triggered). Four or five responses agreed that grief is just love with no place to go.

I am amazed, none of my childhood abuse and the grief that has followed me, has any connection to love.

We feel betrayal’s grief is love?

I feel the opposite, betrayal is closer to hate.

Is your PTSD grief just love with no place to go?

Now I see if we are grieving a friend maybe love with nowhere to go.

If we are grieving a loss, things change.
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Worry, regret and blame

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“Buddhas Brain” by Rick Hansen

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“Only we humans worry about the future, regret the past, and blame ourselves for the present.

We get frustrated when we can’t have what we want, and disappointed when what we like ends.

We suffer that we suffer. We get upset about being in pain, angry about dying, sad about waking up sad yet another day.

This kind of suffering—which encompasses most of our unhappiness and dissatisfaction—is constructed by the brain.

It is made up.

Which is ironic, poignant—and supremely hopeful.

For if the brain is the cause of suffering, it can also be its cure.”
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.If we do not heal, do we try to escape?

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If we do not heal, do we try to escape PTSD’s invisible prison?

Hell yes.

Whatever works, avoidance, denial, deception, or numbing ourselves.

Some people cut themselves to find relief, some drink, some will do anything for approval, some do drugs, some are paralyzed, and some commit suicide.

It does not matter to them, escape is the ultimate goal.

If you have given up and become a victim life is full-time avoidance, denial, deception, and numbing.

Shocking that I have insight into these feelings.

Hard to be strong all day long against PTSD’s relentless attacks.

We have weak moments, life becomes exhaustive and we feel guilty.

We dust ourselves off and return to our daily battle.

PTSD is a messy disorder for us, it will always be a confusing ordeal of subconscious influence.

Remember, we will take losses but we never give up.
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PTSD: It is what we do, it is how we survive, this daily dedication to improve.

Normal kids have attachments and some positive events in childhood.

They grow up with enough support and approval to form a positive ego. How much is enough, I have no idea?

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That forms a foundation, experiences to reference when times get tough.

Abused kids have a big void where trust and safety blossom.

Abused kids never felt safe, physically or emotionally.

Our challenge: Find a way to navigate life with little trust and big voids.

Life has always happened too fast for me. As a child, I was always wrong, always a burden, always behind.

My thoughts were about surviving my father not going to the prom or being popular.

Yes, I wanted approval, but that took a backseat to dad.

Complex PTSD never heals completely, we will deal with varying degrees of activation for the rest of our lives.

Actions: I am starting to limit the impact of certain traumas, and a small shift has occurred.

Maybe it is from a decade of intense work or I am exhausted and old.

We do our daily work without negligible results for long periods, hoping improvement is on the way.

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It is what we do, it is how we survive, this daily dedication to improve.

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I am trying to heal, I have not given up, and I am proud of myself.
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Self versus Ego

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Two excerpts from “Meditation for the Love of it”:

“The work of meditation is to coax the mind into letting go of the perceptions and ideas that keep it stuck, so it can expand and reveal itself as it really is.

As vast creative Awareness. Pure light and ecstasy. An ocean of peace and power. The Self.”

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“One way you know you are experiencing the ego and not the Self is that the ego (ahamkara in Sanskrit) always experiences itself in comparison to others.

The ego never feels fully equal to others: it sees others as higher or lower, as better or worse, as friendly or potentially hostile.

The Self, on the other hand, just is.

The Self sees everything and everyone as equal to itself.”

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