Posts Tagged ‘MINDFULNESS’

24 Jun

Is Ptsd a bad genie in a bottle?

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , .

Genie in a bottle

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/27866091433321867/

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PTSD’s power emerges from the fear and anxiety it perpetuates through dissociation.

Dissociation is the lynchpin of Ptsd, the fuel trauma uses to control life.

Without time spent in the past, judging, ruminating or just handling trauma thoughts, Ptsd whithers in that moment.

There is normal healing where life becomes easier to navigate.

Set accurate expectations, we are never going to be happy go lucky or be like others, we will be our own happy self, whatever that looks like.

Thinking in absolutes seems to be the rhetoric of the inner critic (Ptsd) employs to control us.

If we leave this present moment to delve into the past, suffering will materialize.

It’s almost like a genie in a bottle, Ptsd that is.

Ptsd is a bad genie, traumatized and unworthy at his core. Sounds like the inner critic’s voice.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/25543922874949051/

If we rub that lamp, suffering comes pouring out.

I entertain the dream, I am perfect as my true self, right now, right here, right this second, then I move onto the next minute.

Know the enemy and how he/she operates.

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22 Jun

Real Codependency Stories: Jane

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , .

Reblogged from the online therapist

Excellent podcast and skills

Gaslighting observed and codependency explained

Real Codependency Stories: Jane

Welcome to another episode of Dr Jenner Podcast. Today, we look at a real-life codependency case and we meet Jane who is recovering from a …

Real Codependency Stories: Jane

22 Jun

PTSD: finding our way

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , .

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/296533956723067482/

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As a lay person, I know nearly as much as most therapists about childhood PTSD, in my opinion.

Yes, this has been helpful improving but healing therapies, therapists and holistic solutions have their limitations.

I lost my mind for a few months when an old buried trauma decided to surface.

All those old therapies and tools did not stick to the proverbial wall, life narrowed, became rigid and my options dwindled.

Childhood trauma has been highly resistant to healing for all of us at times.

We get lost, angry, ashamed and frustrated, suffering feels endless at these moments.

That’s when we need to find our own way out, intuitively.

Meditation has let me visualize things outside the box.

Now, I refuse to follow my inner critic or let PTSD mood swings impact behavior.

Not really a therapy but a valuable skill for me.

In a way, I have rationally refused to have the past rule my present moment.

Instead of letting ptsd fear and anxiety impact my thoughts, behavior, I do the opposite.

Feels so much freer not handling old trauma and the past.

Is this healing?

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21 Jun

Changing my PTSD habits

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , .

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Many of my trauma habits were hidden, subconsciously out of sight for decades.

I never understood why my thoughts, my life was so much different.

Unfortunately, many of my behaviors were trauma related, highly dysfunctional and confusing.

My healing journey has pivoted many times, now I focus on the outcome.

I want to not react, when my PTSD spots danger, unworthiness or outrage.

That’s correct, not react physically and not react to the storyline of PTSD.

I know this will be good for me!

Our goal is to let go of the perceived wrong as quickly as possible.

I will have more wellbeing if I can learn not to react, not to give it power.

This focus is ever present, has nothing to do with old trauma, just do not react, now.

I believe this is the way to calm the inner critic.

Take power away from him/her.

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19 Jun

Our PTSD has Patterns

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , .

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/48695239710690388/

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A couple days ago my PTSD reacted to external stimulus, one of those invalidating discussions with a friend.

No, my fight or flight did not erupt, my nervous system revs up some, nothing scary or intimidating.

The irrational thinking part of PTSD takes over. This is my main culprit.

This is my pattern.

A battle between letting the crap go versus engaging the trauma begins.

We have to find reality in the midst of all the PTSD symptoms.

For me, I play defense, refuse to make decisions, discount the anger and unworthiness that PTSD offers.

When intrusive thoughts flow, anxiety arrives and cognitive functions become confusing.

We get lost and suffer.

What is real life and what is trauma? Takes time and practice to decipher this riddle.

In a couple of days the horizon clears back to our PTSD normal.

I always come back, never get lost for long now.

For me, this is most freedom available, being able to navigate PTSD when it erupts.

I have lost my guilt around my abuse, this is a soothing accomplishment.

I take daily action, try to heal a little each day.

Never give up, never give in, this is our challenge.

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14 Jun

Childhood PTSD: a moment to moment battle for our sanity

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , .

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/414190496988225976/

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Healing from childhood PTSD looks much different than we expect.

Our wellbeing is a moment to moment battle to stay present, letting trauma thoughts flow on through without impact.

Each day presents a new challenge, a new twist, a new trigger.

The inner critic formed from childhood abuse is a different animal, created before the brain can diminish his/her strength. It is like an inner critic on steroids, he/she has always occupied prime real estate inside our Brain.

No, childhood PTSD does not evaporate, early trauma happens before the brain develops. This hard wiring needs constant vigilance, constant awareness or suffering develops.

Now, the strongest part of my PTSD is my inner voices.

He starts that snowball rolling down that PTSD hill, grasping unworthy offerings by the inner critic.

When I grasp that inner voice of unworthiness, a train of negative storylines is given life.

My gratitude and giving work is sabotaged, the inner voice undermines all our efforts.

This is a subconscious, stealthy inner voice, part unworthy Ego and part victim, it is the only jet fuel PTSD has left.

I do not know if healing is possible but calming this culprit will bring relief.

We must have hope and take daily action or we will suffer.

This challenge from our birth is not something we can ignore.

Childhood PTSD will take our life if we let the inner critic thrive.

Others will never understand the battle we face, that is another challenge we must come to grips with.

We are much different, our life does not resemble a normal life, our thoughts are weaponized around childhood abuse and the development of our brain.

We need to support each other and take daily action.

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13 Jun

Inner Critic Work

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , .


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Inner voices and the inner critic are the focus of my recovery now.

Pixabay johnhain

Old habits like self shaming, having a critical relationship with myself, and self sabotage are at the core of my PTSD.

Simple phrases like, We are mature now, We are safe, We are worthy, We are loved, calm the wounded child.

I was abused in childhood not flawed, not unworthy, and not damaged at my core.

After a week of work on my inner voices, glimpses of value and acceptance have appeared.

With all the healing work done in the last decade, my inner critic is the piece that fuels my PTSD.

Worthlessness springs from these inner voices, they are the culprit.

On my healing journey, I improved in small increments, using many therapies and techniques.

Childhood PTSD presents the greatest trauma challenge for a therapist, it is not a single event that happened after the brain developed.

Childhood Trauma is like an octopus entwined around our brain development, looking from the inside it is hard for us to determine what is mind and what is trauma.

Our inner critic is formed before we become aware, before some parts of the brain develop to handle trauma efficiently.

The inner critic is part of us, so we need to soothe him and make him safe and secure first.

This is the way out of survivor mode.

Thoughts?
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1 Jun

Different times

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , .

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https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/322640760812104156/

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Goodness this is so true, we are addicted to our phones, technology .

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https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/144959681728330436/

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Funny concept these days.

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https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/13440498877944316/

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Thoughts have been my downfall, judgments, comparisons, complaints, etc.

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31 May

I always thought my inner child was the weakest most damaged part of me

Posted by Marty in My Favorites. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/4574037110564549/

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Childhood trauma has this extra dimension, an inner child who had to navigate abuse while the brain was not developed. We can integrate all the trauma we experienced and still our hardwiring is unchanged.

I saw my abused inner child, as vulnerable and weak, the origin of all the PTSD. My thought was it needed fixing, repaired, made over.

Shifting my focus away from trauma and triggers into functioning in this moment, has brought a massive change in how I see my inner child.

Without knowing it, in a response I wrote to the last post, my inner child became the strongest, bravest part of me.

My inner child had the fewest tools, was the most vulnerable part of my life but he survived the greatest abuse, childhood.

Instead of a meek coward, he navigated his way into adulthood with great strength. As an adult I see he survived where mature Marty would of failed.

Is this thinking outside the box or just Awareness being a reward for my inner exploration?

That inner child had strengths others did not have. He could endure intense pain and still take action.

My inner child developed incredible willpower and never gave up in the face of hardship.

What a paradigm shift from victim to my leading freedom fighter.

Now my challenge is to soothe that inner child in current situations, reparent in a way.

Again, this approach is trying to not handle my trauma, it is about functioning now, in this situation, this moment.

I have danced around the inner child numerous times and have written posts in the past, but something was different this time.

I never thought my inner child was the bravest part of my life.

My perceived weakness might be my biggest strength in reality.

How about you?

Your inner child helped you survive also.

He/She maybe your ultimate strength, not the damaged mess we perceive.

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30 May

Intrusive thoughts brought suffering for me

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , , , .

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/45599014967974172/

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Intrusive thoughts have been the PTSD symptom that has haunted me. This symptoms activates many of the other symptoms we suffer from.

The last few days intrusive thoughts have all but left the building, changing all my focus to functioning in the present moment has alleviated that concern for now.

What a wonderful gift in itself.

No, I am not healed but the mind can be approached in many more ways than I thought.

My first priority was to calm the fight or flight mechanism.

Then all the fun begins fighting to get our lives back.

Many times we are not even close to working on what needs to be integrated.

PTSD is so irrational and confusing at times, we need direction and tools to navigate.

Try my new approach, leave the past alone, focus on this present moment and work on that behavior, our reactions to people and situations.

Intrusive thoughts have a hard time penetrating when we assume this posture.

If something has stopped working, adapt, pivot and try something new.

I have found taking risks with therapy is a must from time to time.

Childhood trauma will not be healed by a therapist, I can assure you of that.

I have done the vast majority of my healing alone.

Take a step back and evaluate your healing path, make changes and reapply maximum effort.

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