Posts Tagged ‘MEDITATION’

31 May

Distorted Thoughts and emotions from childhood abuse

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , .

Unsplash


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PTSD is like a T.V. rerun, our trauma movie of childhood collects many residuals throughout life.

Complex PTSD will always be alive, inside our body and mind, in some form until we die.

This movie is distorted, and stored while experiencing our fight or flight exploding.

Since cognition is offline, rational interpretation is impossible.

It is different for every person, the same stressor experienced by a group does not produce PTSD for everyone.

I have carried a feeling of impending doom, loss, or humiliation since my earliest memories.

Abused kids usually do not exhibit a happy-go-lucky demeanor, we are too busy spotting danger, then negotiating away or towards that danger.

For me, this process happens subconsciously. My mind is already assessing every situation before I know it.

Our trauma is stored in the same place, (the right amygdala) as our mechanism for spotting current danger.

Looking back, I never trusted or felt safe as a kid.

Some of that never goes away.

These emotions and thoughts are damaging to our mental health if we engage them for long.

Solution: Keep as present as possible during the day. Letting a mind like ours wander is a recipe for disaster.

Realize the battle is never over.

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19 Apr

Our Mindset as abused kids (Complex PTSD)

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , , .

Unsplash by Chris Saborchrissabor


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Childhood abuse wires the brain in an atmosphere of perceived or real danger.

As an adult, we feel the world is much more dangerous than normal adults.

We are far more accomplished spotting danger, real or perceived.

Relationships and trust are problematic. We dissociate into the shadow thoughts of Complex PTSD.

We can experience mood swings when triggered by other people and situations.

Life hardly ever flows easily, we spot danger in most situations.

School is overwhelming because we are fighting a battle at home, we are compromised from the abuse.

Happy go lucky is reserved for children who were loved and supported.

It seems turmoil thrives inside our heads.

I have to work diligently, be aware, and meditate daily to curb this disorder.

Childhood trauma (complex PTSD) hard wires inside our brain development.

Our abuse happened before the brain developed, so certain parts of the brain are not online to protect us.

Be aware of our tendencies, and have a plan when things explode.

Learn better ways to cope with these feelings.

We never feel good enough, or worthy enough, in fact, we feel flawed to our core.

This is the dysfunction of complex PTSD.
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15 Feb

My teacher passed away yesterday

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , .

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My online kundalini teacher passed away yesterday. She was only 51.

There was something special about Jenn, a quality, a fearlessness, and a selfless way of living. I found her meditation group online during covid.

After five years at a zen center, no one resembled her. I sensed a special being, a selfless warrior who placed herself in the middle of others’ trauma without fear for her mental health.

Meticulously I showed up every day trying to understand how she became who she was. Somehow, someway, she elevated her being.

Jenn had a way of making you feel safe. She would make time between appointments to talk to me. I always felt better after our conversations.

Jenn was the purest person, charismatic to a fault that I have ever come across.

She always had a different perspective, outside the box.

Here is an example:


“Pray for yourself to find peace and healing, pray for them to do the same, pray for forgiveness to release yourself and forgiveness to release them. Pray for an opening in your ego to allow the heart to temper it all with love and grace.”


We all feel blessed to have known her and feel a void now that she has passed.

I will miss her.
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23 Sep

Implant may reduce OCD symptoms with electrical pulses

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , .

Deep brain stimulation,” or DBS, can offer significant relief to as many as two-thirds of patients with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, a new study found. Photo by Raman Oza/Pixabay


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by Alan Mozes, HealthDay News


When traditional treatments fail to help patients with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), an implant that zaps the brain with electrical pulses just might, a new research review shows.

It found that the remedy — known as “deep brain stimulation,” or DBS — can offer significant relief to as many as two-thirds of such patients. On average, it can reduce OCD-triggered symptoms by nearly half, the review found.

“[OCD involves] intrusive and bothersome thoughts that the individual cannot silence, and compulsions that are repetitive, ritualistic behaviors performed to reduce the anxiety produced by the compulsions,” said study author Dr. Sameer Sheth. He is an associate professor of neurosurgery at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston.

An estimated 3% of the global population is thought to be affected. For those with severe OCD that is uncontrolled, the symptoms can be “all-consuming,” Sheth said. Examples of OCD include repeated handwashing, ordering and arranging, repeating words in one’s head, and checking and double-checking.

“They can prevent the person from being able to perform other necessary activities of life, and therefore be extremely disabling,” Sheth said. “Some people cannot leave their room or home because of the cleaning rituals that would be necessary to re-enter, or cannot interact with others because of incessant taboo thoughts.”

The good news is that a combination of behavioral therapy and standard antidepressants — such as serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SRIs) — help many individuals.

The bad news: “About 10% to 20% do not respond” to those treatments, Sheth said.

Continued in response section

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18 Sep

Healing spiritually

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , , , .

https://i2.wp.com/prettymomguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/kundalini-yoga.jpg


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A decade of therapy helped me but did not stop the demon from doing damage. My spiritual healing offers me hope, calming what therapy could not.


The online kundalini group is doing a 40-day meditation on positivity (love).

Ten minutes of breath work: Inhaling for five seconds, a short pause, exhaling for five seconds followed by a 15 second pause, then repeat.

Thoughts subside with intense focus on the breath like this.

Next, we chant for ten minutes. Chanting is new for me.

We rarely chanted at the zen center, silence was cherished.

We finish with ten minutes of deep breathing.

Instructions are to think of ourselves in the most positive, healthy, and happy way.

This is a task for us. No negativity, no gossiping all day.

I am working on opening my heart and trying to heal more spiritually.

Our job is to continually find new ways to improve, then take action.

The act of trying, and never giving up sustains us during the rough times.
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17 Sep

The Wounded Heart

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , .

https://unsplash.com/@jccards


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Excerpt from The Deep Heart

“We are continuing to learn more about the origins and impacts of childhood conditioning, particularly when it comes to developmental trauma.

Researchers have discovered that children respond differently to traumatic events than adults do.

In part this is due to their undeveloped nervous system, in part due to the ongoing nature of the traumas, and in part due to the fact that their primary caretakers — those the children rely on for stability, guidance, and protection — are the source of these traumas.

Developmental traumas arise from ongoing neglect, abandonment, or abuse.

The impacts of chronic, relationally oriented trauma are pervasive and long lasting.

All aspects of children’s experiences become distorted.

Their ability to self-regulate, experience relative control and mastery, think clearly, self-soothe, take care of themselves, recognize and articulate needs and feelings, feel worthy, focus attention, learn, trust others, bond, and stay physically healthy are all compromised, sometimes severely.

Studies have shown that 75 percent of prison inmates suffer from developmental trauma.”
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12 Sep

How Does Social Anxiety Affect the Brain?

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , , .

https://unsplash.com/@a_d_s_w

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Excerpt from PyschCentral

“Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, is a form of anxiety that causes intense fear and embarrassment in social situations.

For example, it’s common to feel slightly nervous when meeting new people or speaking in public. People with social anxiety disorder can experience a paralyzing fear that makes it hard for them to live everyday life.

We now know that social anxiety disorder affects more than just relationships, work, and other daily activities — it also affects the brain.

Researchers have found that critical areas in the brains of socially anxious people function differently. These areas mainly involve processing emotion, danger, and social cues.

What causes social anxiety?


It’s still not clear exactly what causes social anxiety. Research from 2022 suggests that genetic and environmental influences cause social anxiety, such as upbringing and life experiences.

Research has revealed certain areas of the brain that play a role in fear and anxiety, and we know that genetics affects their function. But researchers don’t yet know which specific genes those are.

Children of controlling, overprotective, or intrusive parents are more likely to develop a social anxiety disorder.

Stressful life events such as sexual or emotional abuse also increase the risk of developing the disorder.

The hope is that by studying how the brain is affected by social anxiety, researchers can develop more effective treatments for the disorder.”

Continued in response

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11 Sep

PTSD: trauma over time

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , .

https://unsplash.com/@krivitskiy


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Childhood abuse impacts our life and does the most damage by repeatedly exploding month after month, year after year.

This strengthens the symptoms of PTSD and makes them almost a habit. We adjust our behavior, avoid triggers, while trying to limit the danger we feel.

Then, we start to anticipate danger, it feels like real fear.

It sure secretes our fear drugs (cortisol and adrenaline) numerous times a day.

We navigate life by avoiding triggers and danger subconsciously. It becomes a habit over time.

Hypervigilance becomes a way of keeping safe.

Avoiding calms our hypervigilance for a while but narrows life.

Hypervigilance happens quickly without thought, every time I go out, enter a building, or plan an outing.

I have never been able to stop my hypervigilance from happening but I can ignore the danger as not real at times.
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10 Sep

Things to repeat for us and others

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , .

https://unsplash.com/@jacquiemunguia


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May you be happy

May you be healthy

May you be safe

May you be at ease
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25 Aug

PTSD: Changes are happening

Posted by Marty in Assorted. Tagged: , , , , , , .

https://unsplash.com/@xamong_photo_


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My PTSD symptoms have spiked, and an intense change has happened in the last 10 days.

My stomach and solar plexus remain tight and agitated.

My sense of danger and fear is palpable.

It’s like looking down a dark alley sensing danger, nothing is concrete or visible, it is more intuitive, more abstract.

Two times now, PTSD has receded momentarily during this turmoil.

My symptoms stop, I felt desire arise and life opened up for a minute.

Most of the time it seems something worse than death is coming.

Now that’s contrast.

That’s how PTSD works, it creates disastrous scenarios of failure.

Am I in the middle of a breakthrough or am I going in the opposite direction?

Hard to tell inside this tsunami.
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