Posts Tagged ‘Gratitude’

PTSD: A pleasant break

Life has been freer, and calmer this week, and PTSD has rolled back up.

Letting go and focusing work much better this week.



The onslaught of intrusive thoughts and emotions has dried up, that river bottom is waterless this week.

It is such a pleasant break, similar to life before an old trauma surfaced during covid.

Covid reinforced one of PTSD’s dastardly symptoms, avoidance.

Covid made other people dangerous in real life, we were told to avoid them, wearing masks to further distance ourselves.

Covid sent PTSD people into crisis, we isolated more.

Our social skills deteriorated during quarantine.

We already avoided, lacked the trust of others, and covid spiked that symptom.

Isolating can damage us further, making the road to recovery that much longer.

If I knew why this week has been so much better, I would bottle it and share it with everyone.

We are like worker ants, performing our daily practice, toiling in obscurity.



This relief has been surprising, PTSD has been problematic for a while.

Never give up, never give in.

It is a war, have a battle plan, and a daily action plan.

Happy healing.

PTSD: Can we be Special?

Accepting the damage, moving on, and trying to have PTSD not define us is our goal.

Does writing this blog help or hinder me from moving on?



I deal with PTSD every day on here.

Seems to heal, we handle our symptoms whether meditating, using therapy skills, or working to integrate trauma.

Yesterday, I won, PTSD GOT LOCKED out of my life for a good day.

Sunday, he won the day. I played defense and waited for his spell to break.

Even when PTSD explodes or gains control, we can limit the duration he rules our being.

This is a war, people lose their lives because of trauma’s impact.

Soldiers have committed suicide because of PTSD AT AN ALARMING RATE.

We can teach them how to kill but fail to teach them how to live with the consequences.

We fight to avoid being a victim at all costs, we suffer if we succumb to this demon.

I tell myself very few people could navigate my childhood, I am special. You also navigate PTSD where your friends would fail.

Not the way anyone wants to be special but it helps me endure PTSD’s damages.

We are special in a weird trauma-related way.



We journey together sharing successes and hardships.

We, PTSD sufferers are a special group, this blog is a meeting place for us.

Happy Healing.

Helping Others Help Us DISTANCE FROM THE EGO!

Writing this blog is overwhelmingly positive.

It helps me and others improve, and feel connected.



It is a special action shared by both participants.

Volunteering is precious.

Giving is divine and a blow to our PTSD.

I think giving unconditionally, that is without regard for reward or recognition, is as far away from our Ego as we can get consciously.

That is a great thing, a healing, safe place for us to thrive.

We need this positive energy, this connection to balance the negativity of trauma.

Taking action is critical for our well-being.

I hike five days a week, rain or shine, I am a grinder and find solace in energetic action.

That is a highly coveted place for PTSD sufferers.

Our Ego wants to control whether it helps or hurts our wellbeing.

Limit the Egos’ power, he/she is for identity, not governance.

Find a spot where you can volunteer, and give in a way that is meaningful to you.

Special benefits are waiting for us.

We are on this path in unity, traveling together, not in competition.



Helping others without concern for recognition or reward brings a special soothing, healing energy.

We heal in increments, this is a powerful one.

updated: A Path in sequence: ..Awareness, Acceptance, Surrender, Gratitude, Giving, Healing and then Happiness

Sands of Time: Photograph by Bonnie Flamer
Awareness: We have to see reality, the real world, how we fit in. Attention is placed on how our mind functions, how it interacts with our body mechanisms. We need to see ourselves without the bias of the “Ego’s” judgments. With 60,000 thoughts passing through our consciousness daily, awareness is key for perspective and proper navigation.
Acceptance: Optimum acceptance would have us accepting everything about us right here, right now. There is nothing we can attain, accomplish or possess in the future that has any permanence or connection with happiness. We are complete, whole, capable of experiencing enormous happiness right now. Everything we need is available in this next breath.

Surrender: Acceptance always had some resistance for me, some residual fear that kept parts of me closed off. Surrender is me opening my arms out wide opening my chest, my heart to catch what I fear. Surrender presents us vulnerable to our trauma fears. Once you have learned acceptance take the next step, surrender. It takes courage, guts to surrender.


Gratitude: When our spirit fills with enough gratitude, desires deflate into proper perspective. Unless we can let go of the need for approval, the need for status and the need for importance, gratitude will wither. Awareness illuminates the path, acceptance frees the soul, and gratitude opens the door to our expansive side.
Giving: I believe giving altruistically without regard for reward, distances the “ego” farthest from our consciousness. Giving allows us to escape the ego’s grasp and go deeper into our spiritual journey. Giving melts unworthiness and fear, moves the frozen with ease into action. In my opinion, giving is connected directly with happiness.
Healing: On this journey, healing has been slowly underway, however at the giving stage, healing is accelerated, emotionally and physically. Focus on the breath while letting go of what scares you, liberates the mind, frees the spirit,, and expands consciousness.
Happiness: Happiness, real happiness endures, it is a peace of mind we carry with us. It exists when difficulty, stress,,loss, joy and positive experiences unfold. In my experience, happy lives where thought does not exist, where the ego is dormant, where self fades for this moment.

Can you identify where you are on the healing path?

Shaila Catherine: Mental Absorption (jhana states)

“When the mind abandons its contact with the senses, including discursive thinking, the concentrated absorption of jhana begins.

The mind is utterly still and focused on its object.



The specific object of focus becomes progressively refined in the development of concentration, from the physical sensations of breathing, to a perception of light.

Rapture, pleasure, and equanimity may accompany the bright radiant mind, while attention is continually directed toward the place where the breath is known.

As these perceptions grow increasingly subtle, attention remains connected and the subtle perception of breath is recognized as a perception of stable brightness in mind.

In jhana, attention is virtually merged into its object, creating an impression of complete unification.

Even if there is sensory impact from sounds and sensations, the mind remains completely unmoved.

Sensory contact—even strong pain or loud noise—does not disturb the tranquillity or affect the unification of the mind with its object of concentration.

It is as though you don’t hear anything, yet the capacity of hearing is not impaired.

It is as if you don’t feel pain, and yet the bodily processes are functioning.

There may or may not be subtle awareness of the impact of a sound or physical contact, but the mind lets go so automatically that there can be no sensory residue to disturb the concentration.


Thoughts and how to deal with Them


From Shaila Catherine: “Focused and Fearless”

“You do not need to get rid of thoughts, just cease to believe them.

If you are not seduced by the story that they represent, the thoughts will not disturb your mind.

Tenzin Palmo, a nun in the Tibetan tradition wrote:

There is the thought, and then there is the knowing of the thought.

And the difference between being aware of the thought and just thinking is immense.

Normally we are so identified with our thoughts and emotions, that we are them.

We are the happiness, we are the anger, we are the fear.

We have to learn to step back and know our thoughts and emotions are just thoughts and emotions.

They’re just mental states.

They’re not solid, they’re transparent.”



My two cents: As I have said, thoughts are air without action, an appendage compared to our true self, our core.

You can not see my thoughts, so they do not exist in the world until I act on them in some way.

60,000 thoughts cross our path daily.

I would guess 55,000 plus are unknown to even us.

Why do we pick negative, trauma thoughts to grasp?



Who has power over you from the past.

Who has power over you from the past?


What has power over you in the past, PTSD FOR SURE.

I feel a natural resistance when I read those words, a repulsive emotion.

Any resistance is a benefit.

Where is the door out of this maze?

I do not like anything having power over me, it is why I isolate myself from people.

Who has power over you?

Pure wisdom From Focused and Fearless by Shaila Catherine:

Shaila Catherine


“I have a deep love for silence.

It has been an indispensable asset on my own path of inner discovery.

At the age of forty-three, I have spent approximately seven years in silence.

Not everyone will need to or have the opportunity to undertake extended retreats, and concentration can still be developed in active social settings—but spiritual satisfaction is something you must discover alone.

You might stay in a monastery, reserve a room at a retreat center, go camping in the mountains, sit in a city park, or abide comfortably in a quiet room in your own home.

The place does not matter, although retreat centers offer the advantage of skilled teachers and safe conditions for the settling of the mind.

Unable to imagine the exquisite joy that arises from a quiet mind, many people presume a silent retreat would be boring, but when you enter retreat you leave behind your array of projects, distractions, and entertainments.

You can allow the mind to unwind in a secluded shelter without the need to defend your safety or maintain your social roles.

When you can arrange for a spiritual retreat, it is important to make the most of it by putting your worldly affairs in order before entering the silence.

Don’t bring entertainments with you. Give your mind a real vacation from your daily life routines.

Let silence reveal a depth of knowledge that is usually unseen in the rapid swirl of daily personal achievements.

Concentration states depend upon the “protected” conditions of a retreat. They are, like all things, impermanent—and they dissipate after the retreat.

Even so, the insights that arise due to the purity of concentration remain accessible long after the states of concentration have ended.

Concentration does not need to be permanent to be important.

In the transition back to your ordinary routine, worldly activities may seem to be moving ridiculously fast. “




PTSD BRINGS TUNNEL VISION, we only see inside our trauma bubble (our triggers).

PTSD dominates our life entirely, we fear, then avoid, and freak out around our triggers.



Looks similar to a narcissist; except we lack worthiness, being confident, and arrogant is extremely foreign to us.

Bulletin: So many of us are lonely, depressed, and suffering. Those are the non-traumatized people. ………….Seriously!

Ptsd dominates our thoughts, our nervous system, and our emotions.

We have to guard against this total focus on ourselves, the world is happening around us.

Ptsd gains power the more we isolate.

I need to revisit my gratitude practice.

I am blessed, healthy, strong willed, stubborn and a scoundrel.

Affirmation: In this moment, right now, I surround myself with kindness, and an invincible coat of worthiness!

Damn, I like the feel, of those words.

Many suffer much more than us, we can help them instead of worrying or doubting.

We have survived an ordeal and should celebrate,

rather than let PTSD dominate.

PTSD brain 🧠 versus a non-traumatized Brain!

First, Ptsd brains wire differently, survival from danger takes priority over-attachment and opportunity.

Second thought patterns could not be more opposite.



A non traumatized brain seeks attachment, opportunity and ways to fulfill desire.

A PTSD brain has intrusive thoughts, rapid-fire trauma thoughts, dangerous thoughts, lethal threat-type thoughts.

Spotting danger, developing worry, learning to avoid become daily actions.

A non traumatized brain hunts for pleasure and attachment, a Ptsd brain does the opposite.

One is open and flexible the PTSD brain is closed off and rigid.

The traumatized brain suffers more issues, more injuries, and more diseases.

We die younger from the stress and damage to the body and organs.

Check out the Adverse Childhood Experience study on abused kids.

It is our reaction to the symptoms of PTSD that damages our mind and body.

Avoidance, hypervigilance, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and panic attacks make a three-alarm fire inside our heads.

A non traumatized brain feels more at peace, more worthy and more open.

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