Normal kids have attachments and some positive events in childhood.
They grow up with enough support and approval to form a positive ego. How much is enough, I have no idea?
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That forms a foundation, experiences to reference when times get tough.
Abused kids have a big void where trust and safety blossom.
Abused kids never felt safe, physically or emotionally.
Our challenge: Find a way to navigate life with little trust and big voids.
Life has always happened too fast for me. As a child, I was always wrong, always a burden, always behind.
My thoughts were about surviving my father not going to the prom or being popular.
Yes, I wanted approval, but that took a backseat to dad.
Complex PTSD never heals completely, we will deal with varying degrees of activation for the rest of our lives.
Actions: I am starting to limit the impact of certain traumas, and a small shift has occurred.
Maybe it is from a decade of intense work or I am exhausted and old.
We do our daily work without negligible results for long periods, hoping improvement is on the way.
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It is what we do, it is how we survive, this daily dedication to improve.
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I am trying to heal, I have not given up, and I am proud of myself.
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