Posts Tagged ‘compassion’

Let’s talk “Gratitude” in a different light

Revelatori

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I have written posts on gratitude and shared one from Pat Cegan at the “Source of Inspiration” detailing 909 different things to be grateful for. ( https://ptsdawayout.com/2020/04/04/spend-a-little-time-identifying-your-gratitude-instead-of-worrying/ )

Now, I want to explore self gratitude (self compassion).

I am grateful for the tools needed to face my challenges, willpower, courage, humility and the power to take action in the face of unrelenting fear.

I am grateful for the ability to sit in the middle of my unworthiness, observing, without judgment how my abuse tainted my self image.

I am grateful my childhood abuse and decades of suffering has not left me jaded or a victim, but a giver of hope to others.

I am thrilled to see perfection in the most mundane spaces from time to time.

I am also thrilled for the ability to-forgive myself of guilt and regret.

I have enormous gratitude that my need for approval from others has dwindled. There is a quiet confidence, a worthy soul inside me for the first time in my life.

Lastly, I am grateful for my ability to help others in a pure form, not needing reward or status, a gift that occupies the time unworthiness cultivated that field of suffering inside my mind.

I do not ask to be free of challenges, I only ask to have the skills to wage my daily battle.

Attitude and effort, I have learned are what I control.

It is my direct choice if I choose not to have a great attitude and give all out effort.

Failing is impossible when I can muster a good attitude and determined effort in the face of adversity.

Our journey is the important part, goals or reward are above our pay grade.

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Compassion for Every Part of Ourselves from “The Self Compassion Workbook”

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“We all have parts of ourselves that we wish were different.

We might wish our depression would go away, or our clumsiness, or our quick temper.

However, this desire to grow and improve can become harmful if it turns into hating aspects of ourselves.

There’s a difference between wanting to worry less and hating myself when I worry.

One is motivated by the desire to grow and the other is motivated by the belief that I am unacceptable as I am.

The deepest meaning of self-compassion is relating to every part of ourselves with compassion.

We have compassion for our anxiety, for our loneliness, and even for our self-criticism.

It means that every thought, every feeling, and every behavior can be embraced with compassion.

In fact, when we learn how to have compassion for the parts of ourselves that give us the most discomfort and pain, we discover that growth and healing become much easier.”

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Mindfulness versus Selfishness

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A mindful existence resembles a giver, a person with a healthy list of things he/she is grateful for. A selfish existence brings a sense of lack, a takers mentality.

Kindness, compassion and empathy are other traits a mindful person strives to incorporate into daily life.

Selfishness could be considered as the antithesis of mindfulness.

Mindfulness strives to do no harm, first to ourselves, then to all we meet.

Selfishness leads to suffering, a heightened sense of lack haunts us.

Happiness is not found out there, that sense of lack is created by our unworthy “Ego”.

Change your behavior, be kind instead of selfish, be a giver not a taker, use compassion, be a helper instead of a harsh critic.

Possessions, status, and power are fleeting, kindness to others, giving, lasts beyond our death.

We are on this journey together, not in competition.

There is plenty for all of us, realize happiness is tied to how we treat those less fortunate.

Release that sense of lack, increase your awareness of the gratitude before you.

Smile, be kind, be compassionate, give and be happy.

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What is your life’s purpose?

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Mine has changed drastically as I have aged. Fame and fortune blinded my early years.

Childhood trauma stole years from my mid 20’s until mid 50’s.

Lost and suffering clouded any purpose I had.

Healing and meditating brought clarity and a clear purpose, to be happy.

Matthew Ricard says our purpose in life is to be “Happy”.

Happiness takes surrendering to your fears, stockpiling enormous amounts of gratitude, then helping others less fortunate on this path.

Happiness comes to humble, aware souls who let the “Egos” selfishness fade with a lack of attention.

Happiness has nothing to do with achievement, adulation, success or approval.

Can you imagine being happy in stressful, awkward situations.

Accepting life’s challenges is the fork in the road we need to choose.

As long as I show up enthusiastic and give all out effort, the results do not matter.

Behaving like this gives us the best chance for success anyway.

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We should train our soldiers, PTSD WOULD DECLINE

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Matthew Ricard from “Happiness”

After the Chinese invasion of Tibet in 1959, Tenzin Choedrak, the personal physician of the Dalai Lama, was first sent to a forced labor camp in northeastern Tibet along with some one hundred others.

Five prisoners, himself among them, survived.

He was transferred from camp to camp for nearly twenty years and often thought that he would die of hunger or of the abuse inflicted on him.

A psychiatrist who specializes in post-traumatic stress and who treated Doctor Choedrak was astonished that he showed not the least sign of post-traumatic stress syndrome.

He was not bitter, felt no resentment, displayed serene kindness, and had none of the usual psychological problems, such as anxiety, nightmares, and so on.

Choedrak acknowledged that he occasionally felt hatred for his torturers, but that he always returned to the practice of meditation on inner peace and compassion.

That was what sustained his desire to go on living and ultimately saved him.

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My two cent: Suicide is extremely rare or non existent for these world class meditators.

Amazing what we can endure if we let our judgments go, then stay present.

Inner peace and compassion sustained this monk for twenty years.

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Unintended Consequences

Pixabay: Ben_Kerckx

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My healing path was anchored by hours spent each day devoted to meditating. A byproduct of this action, besides healing, was the opening of my compassion center.

This unintended consequence has brought anguish. Suffering a childhood like mine, then to be disowned by my family currently, felt lonely. I mean all you hear from people is family means everything.

I felt somewhat damaged, a little sorry for myself.

Yesterday, outside the grocery, I encountered a homeless man.

I could tell he was a loner, immediately. Somehow, I felt his isolation, his suffering, his fear.

It was cold and he had no family, no one who cares in the world, I almost cried. Now, this was real loneliness. As far as I could see, he had one tooth when I approached.

His gratitude for my small offering touched my soul.

In our society, we have so many homeless now, we look on them as subhuman.

Meditation has curbed my appetite for needing things. Giving and gratitude smother the desire for possessions, power or status.

I have dreams of having Bezos type money and power, then using it to eliminate suffering.

Without forethought, meditation has changed my life is so many unintended ways.

Carry a sandwich, an apple or a small treat to give to those in need.

This act of giving leads to an increase in gratitude and a better chance at being happy.

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Giving: be inspired by others who give

http://www.dumpaday.com/faith-in-humanity-restored/faith-in-humanity-restored-13-pics-2/

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Giving is contagious, spread as much as you can everyday.

A smile is a great gift, a kind word even more powerful.

Costs nothing to use kindness in large quantities.

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Are you a giver or do you need more

Alexas_Fotos / 20751 images

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Do you have enough in life? (Security, shelter, food, and a small community of friends).

Is your time spent trying to accumulate more possessions, more power, or more status?

Do you judge yourself externally with others, compare possessions, power and status.

How do you judge those who have far less than you?

Do these judgments bring consequences?

Much of our condition is created by our perception of life and judgments.

Altruism, giving without concern for reward, does not happen when we judge ourself as needy, lacking necessities.

Less giving means less happiness.

Greed accumulates wealth, status and power.

Too bad those qualities have nothing to do with happiness.

Happiness is a reward for giving, caring and kindness.

It is our choice how we live life.

Give, share a kindness, live a more joyful existence.

Be nice, be kind, be an example to others.

Be the one who is compassionate in your peer group.

Are your kids givers?

They follow your example.

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I stopped looking for a Cure.

https://www.exoticvoyages.com/

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I stopped looking for a cure, a fix, the secret, a plan to stop my suffering.

My shelves were full of self-help books, devoured with high hopes, always disappointed with the results.

I envisioned being healed, tried to replicate what that would feel like, then embraced the idea it would happen.

Still waiting on that plan to materialize.

A revelation occurred one day. My search of the external, finding a cure out there, was misguided.

There was nothing I could attain, accomplish or seek that would cure me.

What a paradigm change, external to internal.

I stopped searching, fortunately.

With mindfulness/meditation I found an internal way of being.

Healing was an internal journey.

All there was to life laid before me, seemingly mundane moments of daily life.

I had to realize momentary pleasure had no connection to happiness.

Sitting still in a no thought stage, brought clarity, opened my compassion center and changed my life.

All my thoughts about what healing would look like or feel like were erroneous.

It is like love. Let’s deal with love of our children.

Try to describe this pure love for your children.

Cognitive ideas and words can not touch how real love feels.

Being focused, in a no thought stage, is another thoughtless situation words can not define or understand.

Let your mind rest, let thoughts clear as you build focus, expand your compassion and chase happiness.

Mindfulness/Meditation is not an intellectual property. You can not read a book or take a class and reap its benefits.

Mindfulness/Meditation has to be practiced, we have to sit quietly with our demons.

It is the path less traveled, I am sure!

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The Deepest Meaning!

Pixabay

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“The Self Compassion Skills Workbook”

The deepest meaning of self-compassion is relating to every part of ourselves with compassion.

We have compassion for our anxiety,

for our loneliness,

and even for our self-criticism.

It means that every thought, every feeling, and every behavior can be embraced with compassion.

In fact, when we learn how to have compassion for the parts of ourselves that give us the most discomfort and pain, we discover that growth and healing become much easier.

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