We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
We became addicted to excitement.
We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue.”
We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
“Or perhaps we were ignored or emotionally abandoned by our parents, creating anxiety and the general feeling of being alone and unsafe.
Our normal can become anxiety and fear.
And since it is perhaps all we have ever known, and since we may already have learned to shut down access to our feelings and our bodies, we may not even be aware of our anxiety.
Hypervigilance creates a stress response in the body, it even releases dopamine in our brains.
As children, our small bodies are marinated in those chemicals.
Even if we have never taken a drink of alcohol nor any drugs, we are all addicts.
We, as Adult Children, learn to be addicted to our own inner drug stores.
We can subconsciously seek out situations which recreate these feelings.” . .
My two cents: Our small bodies were marinated in these chemicals because of abuse?
That is an ominous claim, makes my body twitch a bit reading it.
“Ruminative type symptoms are also seen in posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) under the general header of negative alterations in cognition and mood.
These symptoms include pervasive negative beliefs about oneself or the world, such as feelings of self-blame and guilt, which often coincide with distorted beliefs about the traumatic event that led to the development of PTSD (APA, 2013).
Persistent depressive symptoms, such as negative emotional state (e.g. anger, shame, etc.) and inability to feel pleasure (anhedonia), as well as hyper-arousal symptoms, like exaggerated startle response and constantly feeling on edge or hyper-vigilant, are also features of PTSD symptomatology (APA, 2013).
Additionally, PTSD is characterized by intrusive symptoms, defined as recurrent, involuntary, and distressing trauma-related memories; these often appear in nightmares or during flashbacks, which are powerful, involuntary episodes where a memory is re-experienced (APA, 2013).
This profile of symptoms often leads to diminished interest in or participation in normal activities and result in social isolation (APA, 2013).
These symptoms are also associated with significant distress and may increase maladaptive emotion regulation, such as negative appraisal and avoidance.”
Early on the challenge was my fight or flight mechanism firing, then the intrusive thoughts bombarded my being, followed by depression, and finally anger and resentment.
Anxiety, fear, and worry are always present.
PTSD at its core is subconscious fear.
We fear this abstract, perceived danger may happen again.
This fear emanates from deep inside, for abused kids, it has always been present.
PTSD will become a battle inside our heads, between our ears for life.
A subconscious, shadow world of trauma and suffering exists below the surface.
I live a large part of my life dealing with these PTSD thoughts and emotions.
It has been a harsh life.
I survive.
I survive with little trust and few attachments.
PTSD has been hard on desire, danger kills desire, and safety becomes precious as gold.
We isolate ourselves for protection and survival in our minds.
If we felt safe we would attach much more, mingle effortlessly, and be like normal people. . .
PTSD - A Way Out.com 