Posts Tagged ‘action’

How to use our Meditation to heal

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“Pray for yourself to find peace and healing, pray for them to do the same, pray for forgiveness to release yourself and forgiveness to release them. Pray for an opening in your ego to allow the heart to temper it all with love and grace.”

My two cents: How do I go about accomplishing these goals?

First by setting intention before meditation.

I was taught to ask for information, knowledge not solutions in my intention.

Asking for different ways, different ideas, outside the box that will help me succeed, has helped me in the past.

It uses the law of attraction and the basic building block of neuroscience, where we place our attention grows, where we withhold withers and dies.

There must be many ways to find peace and healing.

It’s like climbing a ladder, each rung we ascend expands our horizon, our visual reality.

How many ways are there to open our hearts that I have never entertained.

The big issue for me is forgiveness. Praying for the ability to forgive is a unique approach.

Trying to just forgive has not worked for me yet.

The hurt and shame feel alive, present, oh PTSD is so irrational.

That’s why the phrase “Pray for an opening in your ego to allow the heart to temper it all with love and grace” gives me hope.

Cognitively or rationally forgiveness feels impossible, opening the heart seems the only path.

What has worked in your attempts at forgiving the abuser or abusers?

Next post we will craft an affirmation around our goals.

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No one knows what‘s around the next Bend in the River


My kundalini teacher has struck again (sarcasm).

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Spiritual work on my PTSD.

The inner critic work this month in the online meditation group agitated my vulnerabilities, a wounded part, as Jennifer says.

Doing the work, showing up every morning for the meditation group, collides with old memories of hurt and pain. Healing starts by picking the scab, what a visual that is.

I have a trauma event, one that destroyed two lives, the deepest hurt, the most shame, and rage that stayed buried until recently.

Now it has burst into my consciousness.

So Jennifer’s advice is:

“Pray for yourself to find peace and healing, pray for them to do the same, pray for forgiveness to release yourself and forgiveness to release them. Pray for an opening in your ego to allow the heart to temper it all with love and grace.”

Man, that is eloquent and profound, Allow the heart to temper it all with love and grace. Feels like magic in those words.

Praying gives me pause, I have bad experiences with religion but I understand the concept. For me I will add this to my meditation practice, working on peace and healing.

Pray for forgiveness to release yourself and forgiveness to release them, wow, is that possible?

I needed hope, mine was low, so offering a probable solution is a wonderful gift.

Beyond therapy exists holistic and spiritual healing, tools not in the therapists bag.

The next effort to heal maybe the one we have been searching for.

No one knows what’s around the next bend in the river.

Keep paddling.

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Coping better is my Goal

Pixabay 愚木混株CDD20

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I do not think there is a cure for childhood abuse (C-PTSD), do not think there is a space where we say, I am healed.

It is possible to learn coping skills, navigate life, and find some wellbeing.

Childhood trauma is hard wired while the brain developed, so it is never going to disappear.

There is a huge difference between actively coping with PTSD and being a victim.

Knowing I will never heal is not an opportunity to give up, the journey is the same, the results maybe different than total healing, that’s all.

I am not healed but my life has both wellbeing and suffering.

Coping is using my trauma skills to minimize PTSD’s impact when activated.

When PTSD is dormant, I Strengthen my mindfulness skills, always preparing for the next battle.

It is a precarious existence, often an internal war being waged inside the mind.

Remember our hippocampus is smaller while our amygdala is larger, combined with the left Prefrontal cortex being compromised.

Trauma will explode from time to time as we navigate life.

Our goal is to live and risk in the midst of PTSD terror and enjoy our trauma free Periods fully.

Our challenges come when intrusive thoughts bombard us at a rapid pace, then our fight or flight mechanism fires, how we handle this perceived threat determines life.

Be prepared, develop as many coping skills as possible and practice daily.

There are no guarantees with childhood trauma, life will suck at times, unworthiness and fear will prevail at times.

We do have a choice, resist or give up, deciding not to have PTSD is not an option I am aware of.

We have to be determined, courageous and have the ability to take action in the face of fear and anxiety.

I have learned not to resent my place on this earth, that is a victims stance.

Life Axiom: Sedentary is closer to death, action closer to life.

Healing takes daily action, suffering arrives without effort.

do you take daily action to improve?

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I have had success helping some improve from their PTSD.

They hear the same words as everyone else, why do they take action, while the rest never quite get it together.

There is a drive, an energy, a purpose in the few that have the ability to take risks, facing what scares them.

I have been able to mentor them, it is satisfying, I value what we share as special.

I have no clue how to inspire the other 95%.

My words fall harmlessly around them without influence.

The best are those who are desperate, at the end of their rope.

They have decided to make a change, they just need a direction and tools.

I light up when someone like this approaches me.

There is an energy and bond we share, I can even trust this relationship.

To witness someone sit quietly and face a sexual assault that has terrified them for years, is almost spiritual.

To witness the courage and healing that ensues is magical.

You can almost see that burden, that heavy weight drop away.

I would encourage everyone to take some kind of action everyday to heal.

Eat the elephant one meal at a time

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PTSD waves

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I have learned to never draw long term judgments, good or bad.

Yesterday this new trauma receded back into the ocean of childhood abuse.

It feels like it crashed hard onto shore, creating havoc with its destructive power, but like all waves, it recedes quietly into the vast ocean.

My two episodes of PTSD exploding followed this path.

Enormous power and anxiety until we learn to quiet the war inside.

It is just one day but a signal of progress.

A current wave always seems the most dangerous, but in reality not near the threat we have already weathered.

We have surfed far more dangerous waters as kids and survived.

This current breath is not controlled by my trauma.

One free breath can grow into more.

If you need guarantees, you will never heal, true story.

It takes monumental courage and willpower to not quit.

We have to take action when fear is at its peak.

Not everyone can answer that bell.

5% heal(greatly improve), in my opinion.

What percentage do you think heals from PTSD?

From serious childhood PTSD?

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Believe what your actions tell you, not your thought. . .

Pinterest: YourTango

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Every part of us does not have PTSD. I have found areas inside me that are not traumatized.

We all have what spiritual shamans call true self, soul.

It’s the part of us that has been the same since birth.

Thought can not sense it, or feel it. Trauma can never reach it, only we can access it .

Intuition is how I have bumped into it by mistake and then on purpose.

Below cognition, under the Ego exists another world without PTSD.

We can visit, recharge and use this focus to heal a little each day. This soothing space is available to all of us.

Surely I desire that my visits (Meditations) produce total healing, and quickly.

It does not work that way. It works slowly.

Without it I would be dead of a heart attack from triggers firing 15 times a day.

Meditation helped me stop my fight or flight mechanism from firing.

My nervous system cruises at a higher pace than normal people, however it does not erupt anymore.

Most people on this earth have not experienced their fight or flight mechanism firing off like death was an arms length away 15 times a day.

I was a basket case for months. Survival seemed bleak if I did not shut this mechanism down.

That did not happen overnight.

Many hours with no return or hope is what every sunrise brought.

You have to believe improvement is somewhere in the near future.

With all my soul, I believe that.

I have experience of healing where this has been true over and over again.

Believe what your actions tell you, not your thought.

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I am one of the lucky ones. I can resist and take action

“We need to live with less complaints and more gratitude.” Pinterest

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When PTSD is active, life changes, thought patterns simplify.

The habitual traumatic event is the only movie playing. Over and over the torment haunts us.

How do we handle this unfair life?

What do we do for attitude, effort, and hope?

For me, I know I am luckier than most with childhood PTSD. I have tools and willpower.

Most childhood abuse (C-PTSD) ends in addiction, prostitution, aberrant behavior, disease, shorter life span and suffering.

Most severely abused kids are incapable of taking action, facing their fears (abuse) or improving.

Venture on to the PTSD discussion boards and witness the flailing and suffering . The opposite of healing is going on, victimhood is celebrated in such a public dysfunctional way.

It is extremely sad.

22 vets have committed suicide everyday for last three years, while PTSD surges beyond epidemic rates.

Think of the massive amount of PTSD that grips those living in the war zones our soldier have fought in.

I am lucky. If you follow this blog, I think you are lucky because your looking to heal.

Searching still, you have not given up.

We have the willpower and courage to look for healing and look to take action.

I know happiness and trauma are inside me.

Everyday I connect to that inner guide and search for improvement, a better life.

I can resist with every molecule in my body, that along with not giving up has carved a small space that I live inside.

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Things that keep me alive

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I know results are beyond my influence, but effort, the amount of time and energy devoted to healing are not.

We can be frustrated as hell, triggered past frozen, hopeless, but our willpower is still capable of taking action and resisting.

This battle goes unnoticed by regular people. If we need comfort from others for our PTSD, we will suffer.

Realize this is an internal journey, this healing path we have taken.

We may get direction and skills from therapists, books, a group or from a blog, but no one else can heal us.

Many times, I have found myself wiped out, exhausted, emotionally terrorized, my only saving grace, was not giving up.

I Refused to let my father, Bernie win. My Father is my trauma, if I give up he does win.

If we give up our abusers win. I truly believe this.

That phrase saved my ass more than once.

If you want to heal, you must take action, you must go towards the fear.

This is the road less traveled.

Of all those who suffer from PTSD, few travel this road.

Rejoice if you are taking action, trying to heal, being braver than ever before, recognize the effort to be happy in the face of terror.

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I am Responsible: first three words of healing


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We are Responsible for our life, our behavior, our reactions and our attitude.

 

Realize excuses are failures to take responsibility.

 

My father was an abusive, violent narcissist.

 

In spite of my father, I am responsible for how I live my life, treat other people and treat myself.

 

If you want to heal this bridge needs to be crossed.

 


We need not forgive but we must take total responsibility for our life.

 


Next, Wellbeing will be harder for me to achieve, it is the challenge I was born into.

 

My responsibility let me accept the challenge of changing it.

 

The buck stops with us, we are the captain of the ship, the quarterback of the offense, the one who is responsible for our actions.

 

Hard to avoid giving all out effort, if you take responsibility.

 


If you do not take responsibility, victim will be the label you earn.

 


Conclusion: Do not compare your challenges with another, think of your challenges as a heavy sled, we are tasked with pushing a certain distance everyday.

 

Focus intently on moving the sled, distractions will find it harder to break through.


Responsibility brings the gift of purpose.

 

My father wins if I fail.

 

That’s all the incentive I have ever needed in the dark times of doubt and helplessness.

 

What is your incentive.

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Trauma froze my mind at times

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When my mind was frozen from multiple eruptions of my fight or flight mechanism, life seemed out of control, suffering was a daily companion.

An enormous pull, one reinforced by the sensing of imminent danger, powered by secretions of cortisol and adrenaline, supported by a biased storyline, draws us toward avoiding.

At first as a new chronic pain sufferer and when PTSD erupted at 55, I isolated from the crowd and felt damaged.

It takes a while for us to understand the enemy (challenge) and there is an all out war to be waged.

I love that image of waging war with Trauma. It sure felt like a war, I sure as hell felt mortally wounded mentally.

Waging war with trauma meant surrendering to its power while sitting quietly, focused while observing all the body sensations.

A different war, where we lay prone, vulnerable, exploring our traumas without judgment.

The road less traveled of course.

Part of our battle plan: Always incorporate your strengths in every endeavor you undertake. I was a former pro athlete, a typical gym rat, an athletic grinder.

My ability to make my body take action in the face of danger or pain was a great asset, a vehicle used to accelerate healing.

The ability to hike uphill to exhaustion, showered me with enormous reward. Even though my mind had betrayed me, frozen and terrified, I could push my body through pain and fear like a locomotive.

What a contrast to shaking uncontrollably, filled with cortisol, avoiding triggers, suffering, compared to exhilaration and accomplishment.

Whether it was the prison of chronic pain or Complex PTSD’s stress hormones (cortisol, Norepinephrine and adrenaline) the skill to take action, especially strenuous aerobic exercise was invaluable.

You do not have to be coordinated or athletic, all you need is the will to push your body strenuously.

Chronic pain and PTSD are usually isolating and depressing ways of life.

Adopt a sedentary lifestyle and you will suffer.

The ability to take daily action is the one trait I see shared by those who improve that I mentor.

Incorporate Strenuous aerobic exercise three times a week.

Our toxins and poisons are flushed from our system during strenuous aerobic exercise.

Cortisol is dissipated calming our nervous system. We are mechanically eating up cortisol, giving us a much needed break.

We need wins over PTSD when it is at its apex of power.

Use your body to energize your mind.

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