https://pixabay.com/users/sreza24595-9538179/
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In the beginning, healing was always slow, an amazing amount of time and effort are invested for a small return.
Healing was so subtle I did not notice for months, small improvements were underway.
A trauma event as an adult, brain fully developed, is much different than childhood trauma.
Childhood trauma has a depth, a plethora of unknowns, seemingly unending instances of more abuse.
This creates some big issues.
An adult endures abuse or a horrible accident and develops PTSD. He/She knows what a normal non-traumatized existence feels like.
He/She has a finite, one-off trauma to deal with. Healing is much quicker, much easier with good tools and effort.
His/Her brain is developed and handles trauma much differently than a kid with a brain incapable of handling life.
An abused kid has never experienced a normal life, never known life without emotional or physical abuse.
An abused kid’s brain is altered from that trauma, smaller hippocampus, larger amygdala, and compromised prefrontal cortex.
Our brains are injured and trauma is mixed up with brain development. As an adult, we fail to realize we need in-depth counseling or maybe in-house therapy.
We do not have a basis to understand our life is screwed up.
We have never experienced normal, how do we know what life is like for others.
My friends think I am just crazy, weak, and stuck. They have simple fixes, then question me for not being brave enough or skilled enough to live life as they do.
I wonder how they would have survived my childhood, my dad.
I did not seek help until I was about 60.
We are similar to narcissist, how can we see something wrong with us with nothing to compare it to. Life has always been like this for us, we have not experienced support or attachment or normalcy.
Childhood abuse is a well with no bottom, no end, no hope.
That is how it feels and looks to us at times.
None of this allows us to give up trying to heal.
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