Fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, lack of trust, heightened sense of danger (hypervigilance), the anticipation of significant loss or worry, and a strong drive to avoid or isolate.
As everyone describes the benefits of community, of healthy attachment, we feel the opposite and take action to avoid people and organizations.
We have an issue with our safety, as a child, we never felt safe.
I think this fear drives us to isolate or avoid people.
It is hard to understand this cognitively, most feelings are subconscious, abstract, and confusing.
All of this is complicated by the way trauma is stored in a high-priority way and in a place we do not have conscious access.
PTSD has its own key to our defense mechanism, and our fear drugs (cortisol and adrenaline).
This feels like real power, real danger, and real harm.
Knowing these mechanisms of PTSD can help us navigate better. . .
BPD (sometimes called Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, or EUPD) is a lifelong mood disorder which can affect how someone thinks, feels, perceives, and relates to others.
People with BPD may struggle with a fear of abandonment, impulsive behaviour, intense emotions and relationships, and an unstable self-image.
Although there’s no single cause, research suggests genetics and brain chemistry may make someone more susceptible to the condition.
BPD often stems from prolonged childhood trauma, which can also increase someone’s chance of developing PTSD. PTSD is a psychological response to a traumatic event (which of course might include childhood events).
The symptoms of PTSD can include flashbacks, depression, anxiety, shame, anger and relationship problems.
Can someone have both BPD and PTSD?
It’s thought that between 25% and 60% of people with BPD also have PTSD. This could be because living with a mood disorder can both increase the risk of experiencing a traumatic situation, and make it more likely that experiencing a traumatic event leads to PTSD.
When someone has both conditions, the symptoms tend to be worse than if they had BPD or PTSD alone.
PTSD can increase the likelihood of dissociative, intrusive and suicidal thoughts in people with BPD.
That’s why it’s so important to get the correct diagnosis.
Making a correct diagnosis for BPD or PTSD
BPD can sometimes be mistaken for PTSD or C-PTSD, and vice-versa.
C-PTSD is a subset of PTSD which is associated with long-term or chronic exposure to trauma – much like BPD.
Both can cause emotional distress, mood swings, flashbacks, anxiety and anger.
It’s thought there are some generalised key differences to look out for, but of course, everybody is different:
Although both conditions can lead to problems maintaining personal relationships, people with BPD tend to fear abandonment, whereas people with C-PTSD may avoid intimacy or relationships altogether because of ‘feeling somehow unlovable or undeserving because of the abuse they endured’.
People with BPD are more likely to self-harm, than people with PTSD or C-PTSD.
‘While both those with BPD and C-PTSD struggle with emotional regulation and often experience outbursts of anger or crying, those with C-PTSD may experience emotional numbing, emptiness, or a detachment from emotions.’
Someone with PTSD may be calmed by going to a familiar environment and being reassured that they are safe. This might irritate someone with BPD, who may respond more positively to being told their feelings are valid.
People with PTSD are more likely to be triggered by a specific external trigger and think and behave rationally outside those triggers.
For people with BPD, the triggers tend to be internal thoughts and feelings, which can be less predictable.
Unfortunately, because of the overlap in symptoms, and because some differences appear similar from the outside, some people with C-PTSD end up being misdiagnosed with BPD, or vice-versa.
Sometimes someone will have both conditions, but only one is picked up.” . .
“Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, is a form of anxiety that causes intense fear and embarrassment in social situations.
For example, it’s common to feel slightly nervous when meeting new people or speaking in public. People with social anxiety disorder can experience a paralyzing fear that makes it hard for them to live everyday life.
We now know that social anxiety disorder affects more than just relationships, work, and other daily activities — it also affects the brain.
Researchers have found that critical areas in the brains of socially anxious people function differently. These areas mainly involve processing emotion, danger, and social cues.
What causes social anxiety?
It’s still not clear exactly what causes social anxiety. Research from 2022 suggests that genetic and environmental influences cause social anxiety, such as upbringing and life experiences.
Research has revealed certain areas of the brain that play a role in fear and anxiety, and we know that genetics affects their function. But researchers don’t yet know which specific genes those are.
Children of controlling, overprotective, or intrusive parents are more likely to develop a social anxiety disorder.
Stressful life events such as sexual or emotional abuse also increase the risk of developing the disorder.
The hope is that by studying how the brain is affected by social anxiety, researchers can develop more effective treatments for the disorder.”
Fear, or sometimes terror, is one of the connecting threads that links the 14 traits together.
Two of the first three traits describe our fear of people.
While many adult children appear cheerful, helpful, or self-sufficient, most live in fear of their parents, and spouses in addition to fearing an employer.
Others are constantly afraid of failing finances, imagined health problems, or world disasters.
They have a sense of impending doom or that nothing seems to work out.
Even the seemingly bold adult child who shows bravado can be covering up a deep sense of feeling unsafe or unlovable.
At the core of these thoughts is usually the fear of being shamed or abandoned.
Shame is the deep sense that our souls are inherently flawed.
Abandonment means more than being left alone or left at a doorstep.”
PTSD - A Way Out.com 