PTSD: High Anxiety

My body feels paralyzed from the level of anxiety and unrest in my solar plexus and gut regions.

At this intensity, my mind races, and it is hard to think level-headed.

It is almost overwhelming.

Funny, how we always try to escape intense anxiety.

I find myself pacing, trying to distance myself from anxiety.

Being on edge has always been close to me.

As a kid, my anxiety was so intense I would freeze up, finding it hard to speak.

My dad brutalized me, it made me an anxious mess, and I felt helpless to protect myself.

All this followed me into adulthood.

Hard for joy or happiness to exist inside intense anxiety and fear.

I fight for my security and sanity, happiness seems a pipe dream.

5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by rudid96 on August 31, 2022 at 7:59 pm

    It’s hard to hit the ‘Like’ feature on this post. I Don’t Like the pain your anxiety had caused or, as a result, your self-made imprisonment. It’s heartbreaking. I know you’re doing the best you can. When I’ve hit my limit (and according to my therapist, that limit is much more reactive than others) in addition to all the strategies I’ve learned, I add some medication that helps bring on sleep that has been elusive. What about you?

  2. More meds add more side effects for me

    Hard to move to know which direction is best

    I am trying to not fight the anxiety and upset

    It’s more than anxiety but I do not have words to express how it feels

    It feels like something worse than death is coming

    How is that for irrational

  3. Posted by rudid96 on August 31, 2022 at 8:06 pm

    You best know yourself, your body, and what works. Hang in there; as you’ve often mentioned in posts, everything passes through. This is a rough patch. You’re among friends. Your abuser is gone, and he doesn’t deserve to reach up from the grave and rob your life.

  4. My abuser is not the issue it is the way our brain wired and how our nervous system got tweaked

    My enemy is inside my head

  5. […] PTSD: High Anxiety […]

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