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From https://adultchildren.org/literature/laundry-list/
- We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
- We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
- We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
- We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
- We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
- We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
- We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
- We became addicted to excitement.
- We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue.”
- We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
- We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
- We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
- Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
- Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
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Posted by rudid96 on August 29, 2022 at 10:34 pm
When the parent is a wounded child and struggles with depression, narcissism/borderline behaviors, etc., their progeny has C-PTSD. Dialing back the family legacy only takes one to break the chain, but the dysfunctional link is stronger than steel.
Posted by Marty on August 30, 2022 at 9:47 pm
Sorry I missed this
I hope I have stopped the chain in my family
Rudid96. People have no idea what we face and how hard and anxious and full of worry it has always been it seems
All we knew as kids
Posted by Kate Hufstetler on October 26, 2022 at 2:42 am
OMGoodness……. You just described me!
Thanks for sharing,
Blessings, Kate