A PTSD Ego

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As my Ego formed in childhood, strong feelings of helplessness and weakness dominated my brain.

Childhood was a violent prison for some of us.

As that small child endured constant criticism and violence, his self-image was damaged.

It happens when a caregiver threatens your safety.

Old trauma, childhood trauma is confusing and out of sequence, highly charged, and extremely powerful inside our brain.

As my body deteriorates with age, I am starting to feel vulnerable and weak again.

PTSD wreaks havoc on me at 70.

There is a void inside me, we are hollow in certain areas.

It always involves trust.

So much worry, so many doubts. This is the internal dialogue that runs inside our heads.

We have a hard time trusting ourselves.

Trusting others is difficult when we do not trust ourselves.
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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by rudid96 on August 19, 2022 at 3:46 pm

    Your presence was missed the past couple of days. I hope you’re doing alright. I was recently asked which quality would you prefer more; ease, delight, happiness, or contentment. Are any of these really sustainable for folks with C-PTSD?

  2. At times it seems I have nothing new to share

    My nervous system and danger grid is lit up.

    My mind is my enemy when PTSD activates.

  3. Posted by rudid96 on August 19, 2022 at 4:00 pm

    You are resourceful. Though these episodes dog you, there’s a cheerleader in your corner. Remember that.

  4. which quality would you prefer more; ease, delight, happiness, or contentment. Are any of these really sustainable for folks with C-PTSD?

    Ease and contentment are similar for me

    Maybe happiness would bring all if the above

    It’s a new subject for me

  5. That guy I can not find right now

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