.
Triggered the other day, I became more hyper-vigilant for a couple of days.
I am acutely aware, super sensitive to external stimuli while feeling extremely vulnerable.
This is PTSDs mechanism of influence and control.
Everything is heightened as my body recoils, bracing for my fight or flight to fire.
Perceived dangers have multiplied, thinking is compromised, and my nervous system is on high alert.
No physical danger exists, it is all perceived emotional damage I fear.
It feels real, my body’s physical mechanisms for protection are near tilt.
Feels like I am going into battle or my PTSD symptoms have exploded.
I would avoid and isolate however I have outings planned with my grandkids.
Sometimes I can block out most of the world, and feel like I am wearing a protective shield around me, impenetrable and safe.
My mind wants to focus on past triggers, feelings of danger, and vulnerability.
Thoughts of what if and worst-case scenarios fly by my consciousness.
Thoughts interrupt my serenity, perceived fear wants control.
How will I handle today?
It is emotionally draining as the fear seems real.
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by Marty on August 5, 2022 at 1:10 pm
Sitting with my feeling of vulnerability, sitting with the intrusive thoughts, it becomes clear all this turmoil springs from within
My vulnerability is an internal issue, reinforced by a crazy mental disorder and depression.
Childhood abuse prevented the formation of a solid foundation, ours is built on quicksand
Living most of childhood in survival mode was the culprit
Posted by The Ascension Diet - Eating To Ascend on August 5, 2022 at 1:41 pm
You are not only a hero but a guiding light. You SHINE. You are RICHLY BLESSED, and we will meet soon in the clouds. Thank you for staying true to the light within your spirit, which helps so many! CPTSD is the enemy’s modus operandi!
Posted by Marty on August 5, 2022 at 1:55 pm
Oh my
Blushing
Wish I believed it
Posted by Anonymous on August 5, 2022 at 5:44 pm
In this moment, may you find peace, may you lay down your troubles, may you take pleasure in your grandchildren.