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When I improved the first time, life was much better, the craziness had calmed to a tolerable level.
It almost felt euphoric in the beginning.
So all my life, until this point I was an introvert.
All that changed and this other self, the extroverted me arrived.
At the ballgame yesterday, I engaged two different parents, separately during the game, guys in conversation.
It was easy, and enjoyable with two lively conversations about kids, sports, and life.
It is funny, like it’s a caricature of me, animated, engaging, confident, almost at ease.
Who is that guy?
The PTSD Marty is shy, calculated, and avoidant.
The true self is at ease, extroverted and engaging.
Is this a success or what?
It’s startling to look back and wonder, how did I do that?
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by rudid96 on August 4, 2022 at 9:56 pm
What confusion. Does it feel like the other side of the moon was suddenly revealed? How does one reconcile that it’s all the same planet? The shy, introverted guy and the chatty guy that actually might have enjoyed conversing? Do we ever put together these fragmented pieces of self?
Posted by Marty on August 4, 2022 at 10:01 pm
How do I reconcile being an introvert fit 50 plus years
My therapist said my dad suppressed my true nature
Lovely
That does not happen easily
Posted by rudid96 on August 4, 2022 at 10:11 pm
No, it doesn’t happen easily, or might I venture to say, without thought. I still believe that welcoming opportunities for more satisfying parts of ourselves without the self-annihilating critic, the better. Maybe one day, that part will be welcomed as just one of the gang instead of The Stranger.