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Inside my chest, anxiety brings electricity, an abstract sense of fear, an unknown ghost, sensing an unwelcome entity is near.
The thoughts that accompany this abnormality are dark and frightening.
That’s what PTSD feels like at times for me.
I sense an abstract danger, an unknown, invisible threat.
I feel it deep inside, emblazoned from early childhood, it feels like the true me.
Yes, it is how PTSD manipulates us, controls us, and drives us.
There is another entity inside me, it thrives as implicit memory, stored also inside my cells, we call it trauma.
He has been my mortal enemy as an adult.
Many, many, many abused kids experience life this way.
Hopefully, my writings help those on a similar path.
Writing lets me explore and share, always searching for the door.
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Posted by Marty on July 11, 2022 at 12:51 pm
My heart feels like its going to explode this morning
It is awkward, somewhat painful and upsetting.
Thoughts are so plentiful it is confusing
Danger feels near and my whole being wants to escape
And all I have done this morning is wake up, get a cup of coffee and write
I sense this fear, I know it is PTSD fear, but I do not trust the universe
Bad things happen to innocent kids, why should I think anything has changed.
Abused kids have lived a complete childhood under duress and fear.
There is no core or any memory of safety or support.
It is a quandary