PTSD: Our thoughts separate us

Meditating for hours upon hours upon hours, intently focusing on my inner world, my crazy thought patterns unfolded.

The thoughts that arrive in my (your) head every day do not resemble a normal (non-abused) person’s thoughts.

Something is missing, why do we feel separate from the common collective, we are trauma outcasts.

It is like another entity lives inside us, fjones619 describes it like this:

“Highly sensitive and vulnerable, that thing that tries to limit my life, keep me from venturing too far from my comfort zone to keep me safe while at the same time makes me unhappy and unfulfilled from living a dull life without any real purpose.”

Do you feel a separate entity inside your PTSD body?

So our thought patterns are filled with abstract fear, a sort of confusing unknown, a danger that comes out of the ether every morning.

Hard to find purpose while fighting imminent danger.

This is a very confusing life for us, hard to have explanations or solutions available.

Real Purpose: I think this is one of our big deficiencies from childhood abuse.

My dad was so abusive he suppressed my true personality.

When I improved the first time, my personality changed from the suppressed introvert to an extrovert, my true me.

My purpose is extremely difficult to find in the middle of PTSD.

At 70, I have no idea who I am supposed to be or how to fit in.

Question: Do you have good memories? Which memories dominate your mind?

2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by rudid96 on June 23, 2022 at 2:11 pm

    Identifying with your words and with those of fjones619 is easy. Life’s purpose remains my mystery. At present, my energies focus on regulating & recalibrating. My life has mostly consisted of being a reactor, not a creator. Is it too 21st-century, self-indulgent, species elitism thinking, to wish for a clear purpose?

  2. Interesting a reactor instead of a creator

    Regulating and recalibrating. This sounds like part of that other entity inside us

    I think PTSD clouds our purpose, we are continually engaged in a battle inside our thoughts.

    I called myself a wanderer, That fits

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