.
I have learned to keep trying, to keep going when life feels hopeless.
If you endured serious childhood abuse, life has always had a tinge of hopelessness.
We have a choice, give up, deny or never give up, no matter how bad it gets.
I wonder if my father felt powerful beating a helpless child violently and often.
These actions are so against my nature, I try not to harm anyone, especially kids.
Never giving up relies on our ability to play defense when PTSD is active.
I can not react, not panic, and not make any judgments for days until PTSD calms down.
My fear gets muted, my anxiety accepted as harmless, unattached sensations and my thoughts get discounted as worthless creations of trauma.
I may suffer but I do not fear PTSD.
I distract myself, meditate and use my mindfulness skills.
Know that PTSD is like a wave coming in, forceful and damaging until it loses its momentum.
Withstand the force of the wave and it will return to the sea harmlessly.
As much as possible, I have learned to not think, not judge while PTSD is active.
Dissociation fuels PTSD, and ruminating on triggers leads to explosions.
I am not winning the war but I do triumph in some of the battles with PTSD.
.
.
PTSD - A Way Out.com 