Many of these traits were accepted as old habits, part of who I was instead of PTSD symptoms.
Distrust: Friendships can be tenuous, any betrayal ends any friendship immediately. This distrust limits deep relationships because of the basic need for protection.
Security: From my earliest memories as a child, feeling safe and supported was missing. All I know is this void. No mentor, no adult has ever gained my trust unconditionally.
Hypervigilance: Entering a restaurant, any group or meeting, my defense mechanism takes over, spotting imminent danger, always on alert. This is automatic, almost subconscious, and quick.
Avoidance: PTSD narrows life, we isolate to avoid triggers firing. Our fight or flight mechanism firing signals danger, this is our chemical version of fear.
In some strange abstract way, I fear and distrust people. Childhood abuse brings a vulnerability that never leaves as an adult. I can not grasp words to make you understand.
Thinking: PTSD brings intrusive thoughts and negative emotional trauma memories. These thoughts are numerous and highly invasive, filled with what we fear most.
Thinking, and dissociating into past trauma memories, fuels PTSD. The more time we spend ruminating into the past the more PTSD powers up.
Mood Swings: Life can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions and thoughts. I can spot the shift at times. My demeanor swings wildly and forcibly without my conscious input.
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PTSD feels like there is another self or being inside my head. A highly sensitive, dysfunctional, and vulnerable soul. That other self has the power to take over the organism and does at times.
Who am I?
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by rudid96 on June 12, 2022 at 1:11 am
“Who am I ?” The answer is anyone who has long-term C-PTSD.
Posted by Marty on June 12, 2022 at 1:13 am
Similar traits
Posted by fjones619 on June 22, 2022 at 10:43 pm
So powerful feeling like there is another being or entity inside you. Highly sensitive and vulnerable that thing that tries to limit my life, keep me from venturing too far from my comfort zone to keep me safe while at the same time makes me unhappy and unfulfilled from living a dull life without any real purpose. I used to think do I have a dissociative disorder? No the person I want and try to be is so different from who I am if I listen to the thoughts and urges of who I will become if I give in to the deeply ingrained learned negative conditioning.
Posted by Marty on June 22, 2022 at 11:28 pm
We share many feelings, I have written numerous posts on the other being inside
Dissociation is the biggest symptom of PTSD
Others on this blog experience things just like you
We fight for our sanity, I have a daily regimen