PTSD: Shame


from The Complex PTSD Workbook



“Shame is often hidden underneath perfectionism.

As a child, you may have internalized the belief that you had to act perfect because your parents couldn’t handle your authentic feelings.

Or perhaps you believed acting “good” would stop the bad things from happening.

In either situation, you may have had to hide your true feelings to avoid rocking the boat.

Perfectionism is maintained by critical self-talk that attempts to push down painful feelings.

When the inner critic berates you for being lazy, stupid, or useless, you are again confronted with your shame.

2 responses to this post.

  1. I never saw it this way before. This is so accurate though!
    I often say I am a “recovering perfectionist” because it’s something that we have to work on every day and always be aware of the inner voices constantly spitting criticism at us.

  2. I think childhood abuse fosters shame through perfectionist or rebellion

    My dad started when I was too young to rebel

    My dad told me I had to be twice as good as everyone else

    Criticism was his way to motivate so perfectionism was real for me as a kid

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