.
People think Healing is a simple action, we are weak in their minds.
All we have to do is not think about the abuse or abuser.
People do not understand Complex PTSD, serious childhood abuse, or us.
If it were a physical wound, a big nasty boil, or maybe us in a wheelchair, people would treat us differently.
.
.
Tell a woman who was sexually molested by her dad to just stay present and not think about it.
In my mind that is cruel and damaging, uninformed.
We are failures in their judgment.
I know I am for some of my former friends.
I know better than reacting but I get triggered, then anger seeps in.
Navigating people is an adventure and not a pleasant one most of the time.
I wonder if they know the damage that is possible.
I doubt it from their words.
How do we attach to and navigate people, strangers, friends, or enemies?
No wonder we isolate, we want to feel safe, understood, and respected.
Do you feel understood, safe, and respected by people?
.
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by Marty on April 26, 2022 at 3:44 pm
How do we navigate belonging to groups?
Being in an online group just emphasizes how different I am
Like an in-person group
People minimize our PTSD and symptoms without even knowing
Their lives and thoughts have no resemblance if my life
Posted by rudid96 on April 26, 2022 at 3:51 pm
Marty, I don’t feel misunderstood by most people because I’ve only to look to myself to know where the disconnect stems. Connections to people at this point never reveal my full self. I play the part of the situation, limit my time with social contacts & if that’s not possible, don’t engage.
Generally speaking, I simply don’t trust people. Feeling safe and respected would require a level of vulnerability that on an organic level, my body is unwilling to make available. I engage because a life of self-imposed solitary confinement feels awful. Studies repeatedly enumerate the benefits of social connections in our later years. So, for these reasons, I continue the effort of swimming upstream.
“Navigating people is an adventure and not a pleasant one most of the time” – Sadly, I’d have to agree with this statement. I don’t know if I’d say it’s ‘unpleasant’ as much as I’d say it requires mental and physical preparation.
“How do we attach to and navigate people, strangers, friends, or enemies?” What an excellent question. Is there an answer? I read, attend therapy, and on occasion, engage with people. I believe my attachment system has been broken. It reminds me of that TV advertisement that has the now cliche line “help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
Do you feel understood, safe, and respected by people?
Posted by Marty on April 26, 2022 at 4:51 pm
Rudid96.
We are so much different than normal, people
Join a group and feel the danger
We are guarded inside that group always wondering about our safety
As you say we only join partially exposing some of us to them for protection
There is no answer for us trust is difficult
Someone in the group said they would rather trust and have it not work out than not trust
I disagree
I avoid betrayal at all costs
If I knew a relationship would be
And in betrayal, no way would I want to be there
I would rather not trust
My trust has many layers
Trusting anyone unconditionally seems foolish
Posted by rudid96 on April 26, 2022 at 11:04 pm
Trusting any human unconditionally is a fate worse than death. Whoever said “they would rather trust and have it not work out than not trust” has a strong constitution. I’ve been hurt by those closest, in the workplace, and even in friendship. Now perhaps a stranger might challenge this statement and wonder if I’m seeing ‘trauma’ where it doesn’t exist. But they’d be wrong. Each betrayal, each problem deepens the unhealed wounds. Working with ‘Parts’ is helping with self-connection and inner trust. However, my heart, mind, & body cannot tolerate more pain.
Posted by Marty on April 26, 2022 at 11:10 pm
The person who said that has trauma in his life
I am shocked anyone can say that
I’m rather be depressed and alone than be betrayed
I am ok trusting myself, I understand why I am like I am
In my opinion I have overcome more than most people I know
I work harder at healing so in my mind, I have done the work
That is not to say I feel worthy but I trust myself
I do not their approval anymore do not need to grovel and suffer to fulfill desire