Social Anxiety

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My PTSD is connected to my social anxiety, both under the anxiety umbrella.

Social anxiety harbors abstract, unknown fears around people, crowds, criticism, humiliation, and shame.

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All of this is not exactly concrete, not quite tangible, not touchable, has no smell, and is hard to explain with words.

We never know when it will go off, explode, or dump anxiety drugs into our system.

My mother was always skittish, sat in the last pew at mass, hiding, teaching us how to hide, how to feel unworthy, always scared of what could happen.

I think my mom had a rough life being married to my narcissistic father, their personalities were opposite.

My mind searches for danger subconsciously, quickly, then I have to discount these judgments before coming back to now.

Emotional danger is a strange feeling.

Hard to describe in words.

Social anxiety morphed into agoraphobia, a natural progression of avoidance after avoidance.

Agoraphobia marked my low point, PTSD had stolen my sanity by this point.

A type-A driver hid in the shadows, I feared (perceived) for my life.

Nothing I did back then dented the power of my trauma.

I stopped leaving my house, trying to calm my nervous system at all costs.

PTSD was out of control, my nervous system had flipped upside down, and life was a nightmare.

I never came back to normal but learned to enjoy life again.

Many times when hopelessness arrived, the one trait that refused to fail, was never giving up.
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One response to this post.

  1. The five categories

    What are the five major types of anxiety disorders?

    The five major types of anxiety disorders are:

    Generalized Anxiety Disorder
    Generalized Anxiety Disorder, GAD, is an anxiety disorder characterized by chronic anxiety, exaggerated worry and tension, even when there is little or nothing to provoke it.

    Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
    Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, OCD, is an anxiety disorder and is characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). Repetitive behaviors such as hand washing, counting, checking, or cleaning are often performed with the hope of preventing obsessive thoughts or making them go away. Performing these so-called “rituals,” however, provides only temporary relief, and not performing them markedly increases anxiety.

    Panic Disorder
    Panic disorder is an anxiety disorder and is characterized by unexpected and repeated episodes of intense fear accompanied by physical symptoms that may include chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, or abdominal distress.

    Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
    Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened. Traumatic events that may trigger PTSD include violent personal assaults, natural or human-caused disasters, accidents, or military combat.

    Social Phobia (or Social Anxiety Disorder)
    Social Phobia, or Social Anxiety Disorder, is an anxiety disorder characterized by overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness in everyday social situations. Social phobia can be limited to only one type of situation – such as a fear of speaking in formal or informal situations, or eating or drinking in front of others – or, in its most severe form, may be so broad that a person experiences symptoms almost anytime they are around other people.

    (National Institutes of Mental Health)

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