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Avoidance and dissociation are the two symptoms that retain a good degree of power.
My dissociation has been curbed but busts lose when I grasp its enticing scenarios.
My intrusive thoughts are not filled with fear anymore, they demand revenge and justice now. He lures me in with the unfairness of the acts towards me.
Instead of being a victim, afraid and triggered, I am a vigilante getting even.
Both scenarios are dissociative wastes of time and energy, plus this fuels PTSD.
Our best practice is learning to focus, to know what the mind has selected as a shiny object to be enthralled with.
For me, forgiveness is difficult, so my shiny object is revenge, anger, and a demand for justice.
This internal war makes an inviting bed for avoidance.
I have avoided life to some degree ever since my childhood abuse exploded.
The apex was going agoraphobic for six months, I did not leave my house.
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As adults even normal people avoid places and things, it is a matter of intensity.
Avoidance does not tell the whole story.
Even if I force myself into an awkward situation, overcoming avoidance, the experience can be extremely negative and triggering.
Even with a decade-plus of healing, avoidance is an issue.
What situations or people do you avoid?
What happens when exposure therapy places you in a trigger situation?
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by rudid96 on April 2, 2022 at 3:58 pm
What situations or people do you avoid?
The enduring connectedness is avoided. Outsiders experience the cheerful, fluid person they see. Inwardly, my part is alert, on-guard, and ready to disconnect—the ever-present possibility of being engulfed, absorbed, and abandoned.
What happens when exposure therapy places you in a trigger situation?
What part has been triggered; Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn?
My response is a mask – you might name it dissociation – it’s never the authentic self.
In the solitude of my home, despair consumes my mind. Hypervigilance is a false protector. The shiny objects of hopelessness, grief, and anger are fool’s gold.
In meditation I focus upon the words –
“Our best practice is learning to focus, to know what the mind has selected as a shiny object to be enthralled with.”
These words are the focus of meditative repetition.
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Posted by Marty on April 2, 2022 at 4:24 pm
Very nice wisdom
Posted by Marty on April 2, 2022 at 4:25 pm
We navigate under duress