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My days are lived in increments. Parcels of good, bad, neutral, and boring.
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Some increments are special, attached, giving, and blessed. They sustain my existence. 😎
Some are filled with revenge, some rage and shame, some lack distraction, boredom creeps in as desires recede, and life offers more pain than pleasure.
What grounds us, connects us, regular people feel it naturally.
We have no idea. We are rarely grounded, attached to people, and thus the world in an intimate way.
As a male, I am void of that motherly instinct, that connection to her child. What is that Connection, grounding?
What do people feel about each other?
How can they trust like that?
Do they not fear betrayal?
I yearn for attachment, grounding, worthiness, and approval like every other human.
My roadblock is a whole childhood of abuse and its consequences.
Parts of my day are beautiful, and fulfilling, other parts boring, and tedious, some parts are revengeful, stuck in past trauma, and other parts want me off this planet.
It’s a minute-to-minute battle of good or neutral versus destructive thoughts.
We win by never giving up, by outlasting the negative times until the spell breaks.
Happy healing.
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 