Handling a new crisis

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PTSD is similar to my chronic pain, any additional pain sends my being over the top.

I go from navigating life to suffering, searching for relief using my chronic pain tools.

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https://unsplash.com/@claybanks

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PTSD is more than I can handle at times, so adding a crisis, pushes me way over the top.

PTSD and my meditation practice make it difficult to witness suffering, driving by the homeless, reading, or watching Ukraine get brutalized.

From my earliest days of memory, I feared being homeless, my dad had threats of abandonment.

I did not belong to much throughout childhood, feeling warmth and love was foreign to that little boy.

That came from a narcissist whose empathy center was not working, a cold, violent, simple minded dad.

PTSD sees the world as dangerous, reality is not that far away for abused kids.

How do you handle a new crisis, a wreck, a friend getting cancer, a death, or losing your job?

Avoidance and distraction are two of my tools used to navigate PTSD from taking over.

Distraction is something I usually do without consciously knowing it is happening.

There are good and harmful distractions we participate in.

Alcohol, drugs, taking big risks and avoidance are a few of the negative distractions.

Avoidance becomes a problem when it grows to all of life or most people.

All of us have avoided, it is a matter of intensity.

Wellbeing is a minute by minute skirmish, do we stay present, focused or dissociate, leave this moment to meander into thought.

Thinking is the vehicle that either leads or increases PTSD’s hold on us.

When we dissociate into our trauma thoughts, suffering occurs, and PTSD gains power and duration.

Stay present, PTSD does in this present moment.

Happy healing.
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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by rudid96 on March 31, 2022 at 1:59 pm

    Yes, to “Happy Healing.” Mindful Marty, sometimes your posts feel like I’m a mirror image. I’m going along, navigating, using my tools, and BANG. Life happens and now my navigation falters and I’m off course. I know how to lightly consume big, world events. Events more local, traffic accidents, hateful social media blasts – I avoid. I absolutely avoid all forms of entertainment with violent or screaming, dysfunctioning families. But those are things I know how to avoid. It’s the mini blips that are tricky.
    Here’s an example.
    A lovely painter is in my home doing some work. He’s been here before. I greet him and even have a mug of coffee for him. No problem. However, when he later comes into my space to use the mud sink, my body freaks. NOT my brain. I actually hid in another room until he left. The body chills happen without trauma thought. I gripped the counter and focused on the breathing exercise which you’ve shared. The body pain moves thru but there’s a residue. There’s a presence of intense anxiety & fear. My breath is more like a pant and my throat is closing. I keep up a silent chant “right here, right now” but all I really want is this man to leave. This is the dichotomy of living with this kind of trauma.

  2. Thanks for sharing

    Rudid96 you identify with a make, me, we have many if the same symptoms

    Not many will understand your fear, your sense of imminent danger, or worse.

    When I was agoraphobic, sitting in a dark garage during the day, something worse than death seemed imminent coming thru that tile roof.

    I have been where you have, numb, frozen, wanting to be alone, a say from men and women, people in general.

    Hard to admit his much fear I have if what people can do to you without concern

  3. Posted by rudid96 on March 31, 2022 at 5:26 pm

    It’s the reality but I’m taking hope in the tools of healing. Said it before – I don’t think they’ll be completely erased but hoping to build a stronger tolerance & reduction.

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