PTSD: HOW do we handle Loss, Failure?

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Childhood abuse on its own feels like we are losers, a big failure at an early age.

Our minds are wired thinking we are failures, reinforced by an abusive caregiver, Life’s opportunities are for normal kids.

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I have trophies, awards, sparkling accolades, however, these golden idols melt on PTSD’s doorstep.

External, impermanent things are shiny objects that do little to heal Ptsd!

We try like hell to extinguish PTSD’s suffering with limited results.

Improvement is possible, it is an extremely difficult existence, that’s the truth.

Do not let books, therapists, or anyone else tell you differently.

Failure and loss show up when I think, ruminate or my mind is idle.

I play solitaire while watching tv to distract myself.

It takes two actions to distract my mind from the pain.

Trauma sneaks into thought easily, seamlessly.

My failures have brought shame to my being.

We resent what has happened to us, I am outraged at my two abusers.

Ptsd can take an ancient trauma and make it come alive.

How do we handle Failure?

We suffer when failure visits, it reinforces all those unworthy thoughts we have carried.

My best efforts have isolated these failed feelings in a compartment.

It is a battle, some days that compartment works, other times PTSD breaks out.

Be aware of the inner battle, the desire for worthiness, and the pain of failure.
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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by rudid96 on March 21, 2022 at 1:42 pm

    Dam this PTSD. I wish the pain didn’t have bat-like sonar.

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