Our trauma can take an extremely violent and damaging situation, one event, one sensationalized shaming, and make it all-consuming, all-important.
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All else fades into the shadows, invisible, our distortion grows.
All my good times, events and decades of moderate happiness disappear.
Ptsd create blinders, distorts reality, memory, kindles unworthiness, and irrational thought.
How does that happen so easily?
It seems to upset the balance of memory, gain power, discount the rest of my life, blindly.
It is so true for me, abuse haunts me.
It is an invisible prison, a cacophony of depression, a kaleidoscope of suffering, a plethora of worry.
Is there shaming, a betrayal that makes life unbelievable for you?
My PTSD thinks so, I veto that judgment.
I always presumed, rational thought guided me, I was mistaken, PTSD has made life and thought irrational at times.
It is a battle, triggered, I am irrational, calm I am rationale.
Where is sanity, where is healing and is happiness possible?
Please comment, this us not a monologue.
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by 7oakley on March 3, 2022 at 3:30 am
I am a 67 year old that thought about suicide when I was 19, to young and dumb and poor to even think about counseling. I have a sister 12 years younger than me, when I shared my thoughts with my mom, she said just think about what it would do my little sister. It worked, and still does. Disease is what will get me. I retired from a 30 year career and found Geocaching.com, I think going and looking for hidden containers, mostly hiking, has kept me sane and happy when I out in the woods, on a dirt trail. And when I can’t get out I go out in my yard and watch earthworms at night, waiting for the next time I can get out. That is when I am happy. What I noticed the last couple of days, is when I pay attention to my feet, my toes are curled up, so that has been very interesting. Hope this has helped in some way…..
Posted by Marty on March 3, 2022 at 3:53 am
Smiling
I understand
U feel free at times good
Posted by rudid96 on March 3, 2022 at 10:57 pm
No, it is not a monologue. However, sometimes, the best we can do for those that are engaged in a great battle is to sit quietly and be a witness. Letting the other know, their pain is real, they are seen, heard, and felt.