Fighting for our Sanity

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I fight for my sanity every day, battling my Ptsd demons, fighting to let the damage go, struggling to forgive what still hurts.

This private war enters its 7th decade, the last one lived with the demon highly active and disruptive.

Abuse and trauma, decades-old erupted into my consciousness, life changed drastically, and immediately.

It was like my triple roll-over accident, life changed that second. Ptsd exploded in my mid 50’s with the same intensity and life-changing consequences.

Bouts of isolation have plagued my existence, I have avoided strangers, crowds, classrooms, organizations, and groups. Still do.

This process is not cognitive, fear and anxiety are in charge when PTSD explodes. Thinking gets confused, time distorted, survival against a perceived threat takes over.

Old habits of survival lead us into the depths of trauma.

Avoiding, isolating, hiding, denying, dissociating, or acting out aggressively are the routes we take.

In due time we all run and hide, not fight.

The demon lives inside our body and mind.

If I did not fight PTSD, work daily to improve, my suffering would be much worse.

It is not our job to judge our life.
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6 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by rudid96 on February 20, 2022 at 6:32 pm

    Only someone that’s lived with this multiple decades can condense the experience so perfectly into 2 sentences.”This process is not cognitive, fear and anxiety are in charge when PTSD explodes. Thinking gets confused, time distorted, survival against a perceived threat takes over.”

  2. Rudid96 I miss your daily participation

    U give me energy

  3. 🙏🏻

  4. Grasshopper

  5. Posted by rudid96 on February 21, 2022 at 3:30 pm

    Thanks, Mindful Marty. Though on occasion, the duties of life may interfere with my participation, I’m always reading. I include this blog as a meaningful addition to the fabric of my life.

  6. I thrive off being on this journey together

    With you

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