For abused kids: Why are we on this Planet?

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https://unsplash.com/@susan_wilkinson

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I have questions that will never be answered, so many of us out there.

Why am I on this planet? Am I paying for a bad past life? Abused kids do not understand why we were born into violence and abuse?

Old age seems as unwelcoming as birth for this abused kid.

As my body deteriorates, my mind slows, becomes forgetful and weaker, my chronic pain increases.

My emotional and physical pain are out of control.

Childhood trauma has an encore for me, the most damaging experiences return with a vengeance.

I do not understand why I suffer, why my mind will not let go of its most painful event, why nothing helps.

Abuse has robbed my brain of wiring in a supportive and safe environment.

Life carries far less value for abused kids.

I do not feel good about life, what has happened to me, how I have been treated, how I have suffered because of others.

When we experience loss, our being is wounded, we sink, recoil, isolate and try to numb the pain.

We have difficulty enjoying life, trauma fills our being with danger and shame.

People have done things to me I will never forget, a mate shaming me publicly has left a permanent stain.

After a horrendous childhood, we are vulnerable to being used by people.

It happened to me in a way that brought suicidal thoughts, feelings of not wanting to be alive.

Who understands?

Why am I on this planet?

My hopelessness embarrasses me but I share anyway.

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7 responses to this post.

  1. True…when we have gone through such trauma the mind becomes restlessness with this existential question… But nothing is gained by thinking about it. We need to constantly work towards living life in the most peaceful way possible 🙂

  2. In the moment is our best chance

    It is not easy

  3. Definitely not easy… even after healing we lose some part of ourselves in the process…

  4. I thought I healed once, hard to know what is buried deep to survive the moment

  5. It’s a constant struggle I guess… hang in there buddy…one day at a time; one week or even one hour at a time..

  6. I been fighting this battle a long time

  7. Please take care of yourself and give yourself the credit you deserve for always trying… 😌

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