childhood relational trauma.


From “Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame” By Patricia Y. DeYoung

“I believe most symptoms of so-called mental illness, from depression and anxiety disorders to personality and dissociative disorders, have something to do with childhood relational trauma.

As a relational therapist, I’ve had ears for the quiet trauma hidden in stories of clients’ early relationships with fragile, needy, wounded parents.

I have also heard in accounts of cruel, abusive caregivers the deeper story of trauma inflicted on a child’s longing for loving attachment.

Once hurt, human beings have remarkably creative ways to repel and avoid further harm, and so relational trauma engenders a wide spectrum of self-protective symptoms.

There are common symptoms, too.

Clients often tell us about anxiety far stronger than their life situations warrant and about depression that drags them down even when everything seems to be going well.

The anxiety and depression seem to come from nowhere.

And then there’s that other ubiquitous symptom of relational traumachronic shame—that clients don’t usually mention, though they may speak of problems with self-confidence or self-esteem.”



6 responses to this post.

  1. I thought so

    Draws you in

  2. (As an aside) I tend to get agitated when I receive a strong suggestion from the media, however well-intentioned, to ‘get therapy’, as though anyone can access it, regardless of the $150-$200+ per hour they charge. For me, even worse is the fact that payment is for a product/transaction for which there’s only one party that is always a winner — the therapist’s bank account.

  3. Therapy is a minefield
    Very few of us have the skill set to decide if a therapist is competent and two a match.

    Serious childhood PTSD can only be handled successfully by a smaller percentage

    Many therapists should have gone into research

    No people skills or timing

    Then some will take your money for 20 years without much improvement

  4. It seems logical to me that if people have their ACEs, etcetera, diagnosed when very young, they should be better abled to deal with their condition(s) through life.
    I have a condition I consider to be a perfect storm of ‘train wrecks’ — with which I greatly struggle(d) while unaware (until I was a half-century old) its component dysfunctions had official titles.

    I still cannot afford to have a formal diagnosis made on my condition, due to having to pay for a specialized shrink, in our (Canada’s) “universal” health-care system. Within our “universal” health-care system, there are important health treatments that are unaffordable thus universally inaccessible, except for those with generous health-insurance coverage and/or a lot of extra doe.

    Furthermore, Canada is the only country with “universal” health-care coverage that fails to also cover medication. Not surprising, a late-2019 Angus Reid study found that, over the previous year, due to medication unaffordability, almost a quarter of Canadians decided against filling a prescription or having one renewed. Not only is medication less affordable, but other research has revealed that many low-income outpatients who cannot afford to fill their prescriptions end up back in the hospital system as a result, therefore costing far more for provincial and federal government health ministries than if the medication had been covered.

    Also, I don’t believe it’s just coincidental that the only two health professions’ appointments for which Canadians are fully covered by the public plan are the two readily pharmaceutical-prescribing psychiatry and general practitioner health professions? Such non-Big-Pharma-benefiting health specialists as counsellors, therapists and naturopaths (etcetera) are not covered a red cent.

  5. Everyone in America well many say oh Canada has the perfect system

    Politicians are not good for mankind

    At.times anyway

    Think if profit was not important

    How would we distribute assets
    .woukd we want some to get more than others

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