from “Recovery from Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse, Codependency & Complex PTSD” (3 in 1)
“To the mind of the narcissist, if they’re nice to everyone else and only mean to their partner, the partner will have no one to turn to for help or support.
Unfortunately, this tactic works quite often, though I find that now people tend to be more suspicious of overly charming people.
We have enough evidence that the most beautiful and winning of those around us can also be the most dangerous, so attitudes are gradually shifting.
Lying In my book, there are two groups who can lie better than anyone: addicts and narcissists.
Discrediting You to Others I believe to discredit the same person you claim to love is the lowest move out there.
A narcissist sees this incredibly underhanded play and thinks, “I can do that.”
This is a long con.
Your narcissist partner or relative will feign concern for you while dropping hints that you are “unstable” or calling you “crazy” to anyone in your personal network.
This works as a defense in case you go to anyone for help.
In the narcissist’s mind, your attempts at finding any support from friends, family, or other groups will be tutted away.
“Oh, he told me she was crazy,” they’ll say while shaking their heads at you.“
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 