I have learned not to resist, not to deny, not to avoid, trauma thoughts, triggers, and emotions.


I have learned not to resist, not to deny, not to avoid, trauma thoughts, triggers, and emotions.

What we resist, persists. This is a true statement for PTSD.

Paradigm shift: When trauma thoughts and symptoms arrive, we observe, we feel the body sensations or we focus intently on our breath.

Avoiding, denying, and distorting this anxious stimulus stops.

Observing trauma brings awareness without feeding the disorder.

Get to know the patterns of your mind, how he/she behaves when triggered.

Know your responses, how you react when a trigger explodes.

Work to make incremental improvements, stay present and focused for five breaths before taking off.

Build familiarity and courage, observe trauma from a short distance, focus on the breath and body sensations.

Feel the energy, the trauma drugs, and the thought patterns of PTSD.

The trauma song has a theme, a weakness and a whole lot of clouded memories.

Realize the real danger is over, the abuse energy is stored inside our head and body until we learn to release as much as possible.

Think of PTSD as damaging energy trapped inside us.

We can observe how this energy flows and grows.

We have to be courageous, we have to face PTSD head-on.

Feel its energy, follow that energy inside the body.

How long does it stay? Where does it accumulate?

Are these sensations dangerous?

Can we be calm in the face of this fear?

Yes, we can with practice.

Paradigm change: a trigger firing is an opportunity to heal.

Think of the difference in behavior this paradigm shift creates.

Instead of running in fear, we breathe calmly, focus, and observe.

Can you resist going down the rabbit hole of trauma thought?

Each trigger, expand how many focus breaths we can take before all hell breaks loose.

Once you realize the real danger is a mirage, life will shift.

It’s takes small daily improvements.



34 responses to this post.

  1. I have found that it is much better to allow the thoughts and feelings to surface. Denial and suppression only make things worse in the end.

  2. Exactly

  3. I have tried to become friends with the agitation and anxiety

    Sat in the middle of the unrest until it subsided

    We can not be afraid of
    ptsd or we suffer

  4. Yes, making friends with it is the only way to healing.

  5. My most common response to a trigger is to shut down. I have a book I haven’t been able to read past the first chapter. It’s called Watching the Tree Limbs. It’s about a little girl befriended by a teenage boy. He leads her into the woods (which becomes a regular occurrence) and she watches the tree limbs until it’s over. (like plugging your ears and shouting la la la la la la) That’s me. My second common response, like now thinking about this book, is to cry. Not much to work with here. A third response, it’s only happened two or three times, (that I remember) is to react to a comment in anger. Like a wounded animal being poked. I suspect that trigger is related to my emotional abuser. All of my memories are suppressed. In one way I’m glad. I suspect the memories would drive me mad if they were able to surface. Without God helping me with this (He knows every single thing that ever happened to me) I could never find healing. I do pay attention to the stimulus though. That’s how I’ve been able to figure out (in a shadowy way) what’s happened to me. I agree with everything in the post, I just haven’t figured out how to apply it to me and my suppressed emotions. I’m thankful I can say things like this here. My family doesn’t need to read stuff like this on my site.

  6. You are doing very well

    Our past responses do not have to be our current responses

    I can sit in the middle if my crap

    I can not react or observe or focus entirely on my breath and sound

    Ok. Practice. meditating, focusing on the breath

    Listen for the sound of your exhales and inhales

    Dial-in the body sensations

    Take your breath to the unrest inside your body


    We are not trying to change or impact anything

    See how many breaths you can take

    Increase your breaths at each trigger

    In time the fear will decrease as we become familiar with our triggers

    When I built my focus strong enough and could stay present while meditating I then started hunting down my triggers in waking life

    Social anxiety is how my triggers manifested so I went out to restaurants and sat there until my triggers blew up then calmed down

    I take credit for all these improvements

    It helps with the other otsd issues line trust and avoidance that have power

  7. Look how the thought of your family reading your true feelings brings awkward feelings and some fear

    I have learned my. trauma can not hurt me

    My brain has wired a different way but I can function with this wiring

    I do not fear my trauma

    The worst thing PTSD brings is shame for me

    I can work on this

    You have survived

    Whether you remember everything or not

    The fear is abstract

    Fear.of the unknown is such a ptsd symptom

    Fear not you have survived

  8. I think I have been doing a lot of this instinctively. Meditating on all you’ve said, I think I have come to grips with what happened to me and sitting by myself there are no triggers much, beyond reading triggering books etc. The main issues are in the present. I go to restaurants alone and take my book, pulling it out is the first thing I do. I avoid walking because someone will see me. I avoid men as much as possible. I’ve been trying to change some of that. I have a college friend in Norway, he insists on video chats, thankfully only twice so far, I’ve become comfortable with that. He has a girlfriend maybe that helps. It’s a bit of a miracle I’m talking to you. It’s pretty anonymous though and that makes it easier. I guess where I’m going with this is that I need to be out where the triggers happen and I haven’t been able to do that.

  9. The biggest reason to shield my family is not because of my feelings, it’s to keep them from hearing what I’ve been through. They know they just don’t know the depth of it all and I won’t tell them.

  10. Navigating family is tough

  11. My daughter already thinks my dad was evil. If she knew more of what went on she would be traumatized. There is no need for her to be my friend in all of this. Having to cope with the fallout of her parents situation is more than enough. for her to deal with. Although she probably doesn’t see it as all that bad. I try my best to get along for the sake of the family.

  12. I understand

    We need to hide our trauma from almost everyone

    Some of the things we do may not be good for our healing

    I try to stop the generational abuse

    With my grandkidd


  13. I really appreciate being able to have this discussion. It is helping me work my way through some of this in a way I can’t do on my own. I can see that the next step is to be out where the triggers happen. I don’t know if I can do it and survive. Like you said once, it takes me a week to get over these encounters. And it’s a double edged sword. Like when I went to see a doctor earlier this year, for the first time in 10 years. I was fine during the interview, buttoned up and holding it together, but when I left the room he was standing close by in the hallway, observing me. Probably wanting to see me in motion. I was triggered and it showed on my face. I know I looked angry. I had to recover from the trigger and the embarrassment of him seeing the emotion on my face. On the plus side he knows I’ve been abused. That was the first time ever I’ve admitted such a thing to a doctor. I’ve spent so much time avoiding that it’s almost impossible to make myself to be out and about. Unless I have a clear purpose like needing to buy a replacement vacuum cleaner motor. It’s been a month and I’ve yet to get up the courage to find a vacuum cleaner shop. If I had ever done such a thing before I might have a hope. There have been so many firsts living on my own. It’s a steep learning curve without the complications of triggers. I give myself credit though. I’ve done very well considering.

  14. We can zoom and I can help you ha handle the triggers

  15. I can bet triggered out in public now but my fight or
    Flight does not fire

    It makes it much easier

    Sometimes I even enjoy myself

  16. I don’t have too trouble with fight or flight, it doesn’t kick in very often. It mostly shows up as shutting down. Or a deer caught in the headlights if it is a sudden thing. I also try to stay as invisible as possible. I give of strong stay away from me vibes. I am really good at that. Men rarely/never approach me. I can see they want to sometimes but they don’t. I’m good at ignoring and waiting people out too. I have stories lol I wish I could tell what my daughter was thinking as I tell my favorite one. She wasn’t smiling.
    Mostly I just avoid being anywhere they will be.

  17. How do you think that would be helpful?

  18. I can teach you to calm your triggers

    Guide u thru

    And be there for support

  19. Distraction is one way but it does not repair it does it

    Instead of ignoring others

    And we ignore others because of inner dialogue not theirs

    Actually have no idea what me or wow are thinking

    Takes a lot of energy to live in that survival mode

    Thinking your facial expressions are needed as defense

    Our goal is to be calm and at peace
    Around others

  20. Ok

    Instead of distracting yourself could you sit calmly in the middle of ur abuse


    Not needing to watch the limbs of the tree

    In real life you have moved on

    The goal is to be able to see a man looking at you and smile back not labeling him because of what ur father did

    It is our challenge

    I know that is the road to wellbeing

    I can be a hermit and hide


    But that’s not what we are on earth for

  21. I think the original root of everything is as a child my survival mechanism was learning to read people and their interest and get out of Dodge as much as possible. My parents were very social in a party animal kind of way. Dad had lots of men friends and the danger to me was not a small thing. I realize I don’t know what men in the present are thinking. But added to childhood experience there has been abuse as an adult. I freeze. I feel like I’m giving off some kind of vibe that draws men’s attention and I don’t know what it is. Probably a vulnerability.

  22. I can’t really sit in the middle of my abuse because I have no memories of it. I have evidence of it in the triggers but that’s it.
    I distracted myself when it was happening and that’s where the memories end.

  23. I need some time to think about it. I don’t have enough trust at this moment to go through with talking. I can see it could help but it’s going to take a lot of courage.

  24. Did you read my post from Oct 22nd? There were others besides my dad. That’s what makes it so horrific.

  25. I did not

    I will read it

  26. Yes I did

    Sorry u had to endure that

    Ok let’s look at what’s going on

    It’s all repressed but what’s right below the surface is a Ptsd symptom ruling life

    So let’s set in the middle of the unknown

    We need not know the details and need not be afraid because we are here

    And we survived no matter the number

    You do not have to honor that old fear in such high regards

    There is always going to be issues around men for you

    But you can navigate and enjoy more of life

    The fear you feel was stored with the abilities of that little girl at that age

    Know that you are older, you survived that and have grown up skills now

    You have far more talent snd power and your probably the last women something like that will ever happen again

    We spot danger where danger does not exist

    I am guilty

    I have unplugged at times

  27. No pressure

    No worries

    Sorry for typos I am typing off my phone

  28. Send me a picture for desensitization as I think about it. 4theloveofbooks711@gmail.com If I can remember how to access that account.
    There is a picture of me with my grandson’s a few posts ago. I am the old lady. I have you beat by a few years lol

  29. You are taking action

    You have not given up

    You are adapting and looking for more answers

    You know how yo survive in public

    As your blog says

    For the love of books

    I am not here to tell you facing our triggers is easy

    Never was for me and our battle continues

  30. Definitely not easy. I feel like a sitting duck.
    This whole think is complicated by my adult experience.

  31. Sent a pic

  32. You are looking at
    It more realistically

    Have skills and tools that gain make gains

  33. It makes so much sense to try all these things. But it’s a lot easier said than done

  34. We eat the elephant one bite, one meal at a time

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