.
I have learned not to resist, not to deny, not to avoid, trauma thoughts, triggers, and emotions.
What we resist, persists. This is a true statement for PTSD.
Paradigm shift: When trauma thoughts and symptoms arrive, we observe, we feel the body sensations or we focus intently on our breath.
Avoiding, denying, and distorting this anxious stimulus stops.
Observing trauma brings awareness without feeding the disorder.
Get to know the patterns of your mind, how he/she behaves when triggered.
Know your responses, how you react when a trigger explodes.
Work to make incremental improvements, stay present and focused for five breaths before taking off.
Build familiarity and courage, observe trauma from a short distance, focus on the breath and body sensations.
Feel the energy, the trauma drugs, and the thought patterns of PTSD.
The trauma song has a theme, a weakness and a whole lot of clouded memories.
Realize the real danger is over, the abuse energy is stored inside our head and body until we learn to release as much as possible.
Think of PTSD as damaging energy trapped inside us.
We can observe how this energy flows and grows.
We have to be courageous, we have to face PTSD head-on.
Feel its energy, follow that energy inside the body.
How long does it stay? Where does it accumulate?
Are these sensations dangerous?
Can we be calm in the face of this fear?
Yes, we can with practice.
Paradigm change: a trigger firing is an opportunity to heal.
Think of the difference in behavior this paradigm shift creates.
Instead of running in fear, we breathe calmly, focus, and observe.
Can you resist going down the rabbit hole of trauma thought?
Each trigger, expand how many focus breaths we can take before all hell breaks loose.
Once you realize the real danger is a mirage, life will shift.
It’s takes small daily improvements.
.
.
PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by Don't Lose Hope on October 25, 2021 at 1:47 pm
I have found that it is much better to allow the thoughts and feelings to surface. Denial and suppression only make things worse in the end.
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 1:48 pm
Exactly
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 1:49 pm
I have tried to become friends with the agitation and anxiety
Sat in the middle of the unrest until it subsided
We can not be afraid of
ptsd or we suffer
Posted by Don't Lose Hope on October 25, 2021 at 2:59 pm
Yes, making friends with it is the only way to healing.
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 3:06 pm
My most common response to a trigger is to shut down. I have a book I haven’t been able to read past the first chapter. It’s called Watching the Tree Limbs. It’s about a little girl befriended by a teenage boy. He leads her into the woods (which becomes a regular occurrence) and she watches the tree limbs until it’s over. (like plugging your ears and shouting la la la la la la) That’s me. My second common response, like now thinking about this book, is to cry. Not much to work with here. A third response, it’s only happened two or three times, (that I remember) is to react to a comment in anger. Like a wounded animal being poked. I suspect that trigger is related to my emotional abuser. All of my memories are suppressed. In one way I’m glad. I suspect the memories would drive me mad if they were able to surface. Without God helping me with this (He knows every single thing that ever happened to me) I could never find healing. I do pay attention to the stimulus though. That’s how I’ve been able to figure out (in a shadowy way) what’s happened to me. I agree with everything in the post, I just haven’t figured out how to apply it to me and my suppressed emotions. I’m thankful I can say things like this here. My family doesn’t need to read stuff like this on my site.
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 3:27 pm
You are doing very well
Our past responses do not have to be our current responses
I can sit in the middle if my crap
I can not react or observe or focus entirely on my breath and sound
Ok. Practice. meditating, focusing on the breath
Listen for the sound of your exhales and inhales
Dial-in the body sensations
Take your breath to the unrest inside your body
Breathe
We are not trying to change or impact anything
See how many breaths you can take
Increase your breaths at each trigger
In time the fear will decrease as we become familiar with our triggers
When I built my focus strong enough and could stay present while meditating I then started hunting down my triggers in waking life
Social anxiety is how my triggers manifested so I went out to restaurants and sat there until my triggers blew up then calmed down
I take credit for all these improvements
It helps with the other otsd issues line trust and avoidance that have power
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 3:35 pm
Look how the thought of your family reading your true feelings brings awkward feelings and some fear
I have learned my. trauma can not hurt me
My brain has wired a different way but I can function with this wiring
I do not fear my trauma
The worst thing PTSD brings is shame for me
I can work on this
You have survived
Whether you remember everything or not
The fear is abstract
Fear.of the unknown is such a ptsd symptom
Fear not you have survived
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 3:47 pm
I think I have been doing a lot of this instinctively. Meditating on all you’ve said, I think I have come to grips with what happened to me and sitting by myself there are no triggers much, beyond reading triggering books etc. The main issues are in the present. I go to restaurants alone and take my book, pulling it out is the first thing I do. I avoid walking because someone will see me. I avoid men as much as possible. I’ve been trying to change some of that. I have a college friend in Norway, he insists on video chats, thankfully only twice so far, I’ve become comfortable with that. He has a girlfriend maybe that helps. It’s a bit of a miracle I’m talking to you. It’s pretty anonymous though and that makes it easier. I guess where I’m going with this is that I need to be out where the triggers happen and I haven’t been able to do that.
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 3:51 pm
The biggest reason to shield my family is not because of my feelings, it’s to keep them from hearing what I’ve been through. They know they just don’t know the depth of it all and I won’t tell them.
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 4:04 pm
Navigating family is tough
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 4:17 pm
My daughter already thinks my dad was evil. If she knew more of what went on she would be traumatized. There is no need for her to be my friend in all of this. Having to cope with the fallout of her parents situation is more than enough. for her to deal with. Although she probably doesn’t see it as all that bad. I try my best to get along for the sake of the family.
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 4:45 pm
I understand
We need to hide our trauma from almost everyone
Some of the things we do may not be good for our healing
I try to stop the generational abuse
With my grandkidd
That
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 5:44 pm
I really appreciate being able to have this discussion. It is helping me work my way through some of this in a way I can’t do on my own. I can see that the next step is to be out where the triggers happen. I don’t know if I can do it and survive. Like you said once, it takes me a week to get over these encounters. And it’s a double edged sword. Like when I went to see a doctor earlier this year, for the first time in 10 years. I was fine during the interview, buttoned up and holding it together, but when I left the room he was standing close by in the hallway, observing me. Probably wanting to see me in motion. I was triggered and it showed on my face. I know I looked angry. I had to recover from the trigger and the embarrassment of him seeing the emotion on my face. On the plus side he knows I’ve been abused. That was the first time ever I’ve admitted such a thing to a doctor. I’ve spent so much time avoiding that it’s almost impossible to make myself to be out and about. Unless I have a clear purpose like needing to buy a replacement vacuum cleaner motor. It’s been a month and I’ve yet to get up the courage to find a vacuum cleaner shop. If I had ever done such a thing before I might have a hope. There have been so many firsts living on my own. It’s a steep learning curve without the complications of triggers. I give myself credit though. I’ve done very well considering.
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 6:19 pm
We can zoom and I can help you ha handle the triggers
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 6:20 pm
I can bet triggered out in public now but my fight or
Flight does not fire
It makes it much easier
Sometimes I even enjoy myself
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 7:07 pm
I don’t have too trouble with fight or flight, it doesn’t kick in very often. It mostly shows up as shutting down. Or a deer caught in the headlights if it is a sudden thing. I also try to stay as invisible as possible. I give of strong stay away from me vibes. I am really good at that. Men rarely/never approach me. I can see they want to sometimes but they don’t. I’m good at ignoring and waiting people out too. I have stories lol I wish I could tell what my daughter was thinking as I tell my favorite one. She wasn’t smiling.
Mostly I just avoid being anywhere they will be.
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 7:07 pm
How do you think that would be helpful?
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 7:17 pm
I can teach you to calm your triggers
Guide u thru
And be there for support
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 7:20 pm
Distraction is one way but it does not repair it does it
Instead of ignoring others
And we ignore others because of inner dialogue not theirs
We
Actually have no idea what me or wow are thinking
Takes a lot of energy to live in that survival mode
Thinking your facial expressions are needed as defense
Our goal is to be calm and at peace
Around others
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 7:30 pm
Ok
Instead of distracting yourself could you sit calmly in the middle of ur abuse
Observing
Not needing to watch the limbs of the tree
In real life you have moved on
The goal is to be able to see a man looking at you and smile back not labeling him because of what ur father did
It is our challenge
I know that is the road to wellbeing
I can be a hermit and hide
Survive
But that’s not what we are on earth for
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 7:34 pm
I think the original root of everything is as a child my survival mechanism was learning to read people and their interest and get out of Dodge as much as possible. My parents were very social in a party animal kind of way. Dad had lots of men friends and the danger to me was not a small thing. I realize I don’t know what men in the present are thinking. But added to childhood experience there has been abuse as an adult. I freeze. I feel like I’m giving off some kind of vibe that draws men’s attention and I don’t know what it is. Probably a vulnerability.
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 7:38 pm
I can’t really sit in the middle of my abuse because I have no memories of it. I have evidence of it in the triggers but that’s it.
I distracted myself when it was happening and that’s where the memories end.
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 7:42 pm
I need some time to think about it. I don’t have enough trust at this moment to go through with talking. I can see it could help but it’s going to take a lot of courage.
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 7:45 pm
Did you read my post from Oct 22nd? There were others besides my dad. That’s what makes it so horrific.
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 7:48 pm
I did not
I will read it
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 7:56 pm
Yes I did
Sorry u had to endure that
Ok let’s look at what’s going on
It’s all repressed but what’s right below the surface is a Ptsd symptom ruling life
So let’s set in the middle of the unknown
We need not know the details and need not be afraid because we are here
And we survived no matter the number
You do not have to honor that old fear in such high regards
There is always going to be issues around men for you
But you can navigate and enjoy more of life
The fear you feel was stored with the abilities of that little girl at that age
Know that you are older, you survived that and have grown up skills now
You have far more talent snd power and your probably the last women something like that will ever happen again
We spot danger where danger does not exist
I am guilty
I have unplugged at times
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 7:59 pm
No pressure
No worries
Sorry for typos I am typing off my phone
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 8:05 pm
Send me a picture for desensitization as I think about it. 4theloveofbooks711@gmail.com If I can remember how to access that account.
There is a picture of me with my grandson’s a few posts ago. I am the old lady. I have you beat by a few years lol
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 8:05 pm
You are taking action
You have not given up
You are adapting and looking for more answers
You know how yo survive in public
As your blog says
For the love of books
I am not here to tell you facing our triggers is easy
Never was for me and our battle continues
Posted by For the Love of Books on October 25, 2021 at 8:08 pm
Definitely not easy. I feel like a sitting duck.
This whole think is complicated by my adult experience.
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 8:08 pm
Sent a pic
Posted by Marty on October 25, 2021 at 8:09 pm
You are looking at
It more realistically
Now
You
Have skills and tools that gain make gains
Posted by Xfactor on February 13, 2022 at 4:25 pm
It makes so much sense to try all these things. But it’s a lot easier said than done
Posted by Marty on February 13, 2022 at 4:36 pm
We eat the elephant one bite, one meal at a time