It takes Leather Balls to play Rugby and PTSD:…………………..Exposure Therapy


When my dormant childhood trauma launched itself fully into my consciousness, life changed.

My already elevated nervous system became volcanic, cortisol and adrenaline levels surged.

I avoided triggers like my life depended on it, PTSD’s mirage of power.

Avoidance slowly became agoraphobia, down the rabbit hole I went.

In due time when my blog was young, I would announce it was exposure Wednesday.

My readers, fellow PTSDers shared the journey.

It was a badge of courage to face PTSD danger, take risks, and talk about them before and after the experience.

These outings were painful, sometimes resulting in weeklong suffering.

It was all worth it, it was the path I had to walk for healing.

In due time, my meditation and focus skills gave me a shield, a protective cover to face my triggers.

Those days are long gone however avoidance as a habit remains.

Yesterday I volunteered at a house being remodeled for 8 homeless teenagers.

I am caulking and painting, not highly skilled, not a thrill to pump the ego, however the giving to a cause is special.

The jobsite is hectic with five trades at one time on top of each other.

Usually a nightmare scenario for my PTSD. Lots of people crossing paths on a crazy job site.

It is my current exposure therapy challenge!

Well-being has never been easy for me, probably not for you either.

I am going back today, yes, there is some anxiety.

Courage is not the absence of fear, it is taking action in the face of fear.

Others do not get to choose our fears or triggers.

Healing from PTSD is earned from daily action and repeated courageous acts.

Our PTSD is not going away completely so daily action and facing our fears at opportune times is crucial.

May I encourage you to step out of the safety net a little and take a risk?

For me, even as a loner, I need to challenge my isolation, attach even when I lack any desire to attach.

I did that yesterday, it felt good.

Every day I meditate, practice applying my skills, and try to heal more whether yesterday was the best or worst day.

This attitude and daily action allow me to take risks when needed.

Even in the face of feeling unworthy, daily action and a good attitude are the only things we control.



5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Anonymous on October 20, 2021 at 1:51 pm

    Yes, because the enemy is fear itself. So proud of you Marty! “Courage is not the absence of fear, it is taking action in the face of fear.”

  2. We all face these things with our disorder

    It’s not we face it and it goes away

    It’s a challenge each time

    Thanks for the support

  3. That is so awesome! Good for you!

  4. Posted by rudid96 on October 20, 2021 at 3:53 pm

    Nice to hear that you fed your soul and volunteered. Good work!

  5. Posted by Anonymous on October 21, 2021 at 3:35 am

    I am thrilled for you stepping and helping. I have often thought of volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, always have enjoyed painting and hammering nails.Never dared though. Maybe your action will ripple my way. I don’t know…….
    But, YEAH, for you!

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