A model brain bisected IMAGE: THE THALAMUS HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS THE ‘BORDER IN THE BRAIN’ (FLICKR/DJ NEIGHT/CC BY NC ND 2.0)
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I can take a step back, pull away from my cognitive engine, observe my PTSD brain dysfunction.
It is like we have two minds, a Ptsd-driven side that runs by itself and our regular thinker.
The PTSD brain is automatic and reactive to triggers and trauma. Implicit memories explode, transporting us back into trauma events from the past.
The PTSD mind is rigid, consumed with fear, violent emotions, and anxiety.
He is an angry, resentful soul who seeks revenge. He has social anxiety, so isolation and avoidance have taken a toll.
The normal part of my mind is more present and open. He is much more outgoing and engaging, relaxed with himself and others.
This mind sees opportunity, calm, and some happiness.
The other PTSD part endures constant suffering, confusion, and fear.
He battles to extinguish the thoughts and negative emotions, to transform back into a somewhat normal existence.
I have to ignore so many harsh judgments that the PTSD mind creates.
He is like a sick Ego, wanting revenge, feeling outraged towards others.
Mistrust is all he knows, betrayal is kryptonite for him.
You can see how life can be all suffering when the PTSD mind is in control.
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by Jasrameshen on October 14, 2021 at 4:18 am
Amazing
Posted by Marty on October 14, 2021 at 1:11 pm
Well that is gratitude
Thank you
Posted by rudid96 on October 14, 2021 at 4:00 pm
I was just speaking of this ‘two minds’ phenomenon with my somatic coach. PTSD, as well as C-PTSD, requires healing utilizing multiple modalities. The symptomatology of one aspect is physical. My mind responds to the physical reactivity as if the past is the present. I do exercises to gain strength in recognize the past from the present.
Then, there are the C-PTSD issues. That involves all kinds of relational issues. So complicated.
The trauma has left us truly a prismatic puzzle to ourselves and to others.
Posted by Marty on October 14, 2021 at 4:42 pm
People around me want me to be different
They are frustrated with the way I live and think
They are tired of my ptsd
To please others I would have to ignore my symptoms
Ignore
PTSD like it is not there
Be open, trusting, moving on from old trauma, living in the present
What do we do when our Ptsd pisses off those close to us
Posted by rudid96 on October 14, 2021 at 9:58 pm
Good question Mindful Marty. Do you dispose of those to which you are close?
Do you pretend (for their sake) to be different, to maintain peace, or to bring others happiness?
I suppose my question is what do you want to do?
Posted by Marty on October 14, 2021 at 10:42 pm
I have no answers
Now ptsd causes more suffering for me
I feel bad my symptoms
Avoidance
Not trusting
Etc
Are harming others
I will be glad when all this is over with
Whether I stay or leave
I am haunted
Posted by Marty on October 14, 2021 at 10:58 pm
I am not capable of pretending to be normal
Posted by Jasrameshen on October 17, 2021 at 3:21 pm
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