.
Yesterday, at my grandson’s soccer game, I found myself in a sort of out-of-body experience. A mundane event with no big crowds for an 8-year-olds first soccer game.
How did I become so unplugged from society? I was separate from the small crowd, feeling not part of normal life.
The full crushing impact of this Covid crisis is exactly as my therapist shared with me.
All his trauma patients have lost it.
.
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Quarantine in America has caused those who suffer from anxiety, Ptsd, or other mental disorders to isolate themselves more, have increased symptoms, increased anxiety, and fear.
Substance abuse and aberrant behavior follow.
Something has happened, paranoia being around people became more real. The government told us other people carry danger.
This reinforces all my childhood trauma symptoms. My perceived danger became real, my government and science told us so.
.
.
Damn, we knew isolation well but never had real danger as a reason, we are now isolated as a country.
Requiring a face mask has allowed us to separate at a level we would have never approached without quarantine.
People feared each other, we kept a six-foot distance, it was impossible to read feelings or facial expressions with a mask on.
This is devastating for our mental health.
On the show “The Good Doctor”, Shawn an autistic surgeon, relates that he is like other people now, no one can read facial expressions.
He feels more normal, quarantine impacts all of us differently. Shawn became more normal and enjoyed it, unfortunately, trauma people suffered and deteriorated.
Real contact or conversations, interactions happened texting or on zoom. Life became remote, even school classrooms went virtual.
Kids need contact, interaction, connection.
This quarantine has changed my grandkid’s life. Who knows what the long-term consequences will be.
Avoidance was mandated, a key symptom of Ptsd was now the law of the land.
An old trauma erupted after 50 years of lying dormant, quarantine reached areas that would have never reached my consciousness.
How will we ever get out of this hole now?
At 70, I feel almost nonhuman, trust has faded more with quarantine.
How did my Ptsd advance to this stage?
Take a look at your symptoms, have they increased in intensity since quarantine?
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by Marella Cahill on September 12, 2021 at 7:04 pm
Marty I have followed your blog for many years now . I identify hugely with the devastation childhood abuse
and the resulting CPTSD has impacted your life. Im in my mid 50s and for the last 20years since I had my first child have spent several months
each year lost in terror, dissocation & brain fog. I had one psych admission in that time, but have been at deaths door many times, sometimes unable to
dress myself or even speak.I was trapped in my own house. I was on & off medication several times, have been in several types of therapy CBT,IFS,EMDR to name a few. I have been in contact with
some of the best trauma experts in the world. I finally have regulated my nervous system and have have found a calmness & sense of peace inside.
Neurofeedback was the finally piece for me. I live in Ireland and I do this remotely with a therapist in the states. Im not sure if you ever tried this but
for me it have been a life changer. I experience the world in a completely different way and I finally have a sense of me. Im a nurse and had to give up my career
because I couldnt function and am not looking forward to returning to the world of work. It may be worth a try. Please feel free to email me if you want any info
on it. I always believed Id find my way out please believe you can too.
Posted by Marty on September 12, 2021 at 7:19 pm
I have done that hooked up to a computer
My therapist wanted me to run exams for some of his clients
Somethings are the answer for some
I am still searching
Thank you for your sharing the journey
Posted by Marty on September 12, 2021 at 7:21 pm
It is wonderful to hear someone improve so much
We are speak of EEG biofeedback correct
Neurofeedback
Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff
Neurofeedback, also known as EEG (electroencephalogram) biofeedback, is a therapeutic intervention that provides immediate feedback from a computer-based program that assesses a client’s brainwave activity. The program then uses sound or visual signals to reorganize or retrain these brain signals. By responding to this process, clients learn to regulate and improve their brain function and to alleviate symptoms of various neurological and mental health disorders
When It’s Used
Children, adolescents, and adults with seizure conditions, behavior disorders, attention deficits, autism, ongoing developmental delays, acquired brain injuries, birth trauma, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, stress-related problems, and insomnia or interrupted sleep patterns, as well as those with age-related cognitive loss, may find neurofeedback helpful. Neurofeedback may also be used as an adjunct intervention with other forms of therapy.
Posted by Marty on September 12, 2021 at 7:24 pm
I have calmed my nervous system also, it runs with higher levels of cortisol and adrenaline at rest
But it does not fire
Read an article that they found a way to identify and quell anxiety without messing with the memory
That is only half way to healing Ptsd
Depression will dominate then
Posted by rudid96 on September 18, 2021 at 3:19 pm
Mindful Marty, I’m curious about your statements “At 70, I feel almost nonhuman, trust has faded more with quarantine” and “How did my Ptsd advance to this stage?”
I don’t know if my Ptsd has advanced with the quarantine or if the elimination of outside distractions has at times, allowed it to flourish. However, I’ve noticed that as mammals age, routine and security grow in importance. I see it in my surviving parent, in myself, and even in my pets.
Why has your Ptsd increased? What part of the Pandemic alternated its trajectory? Or, is the increase you speak to a part of the natural process of aging or varies in levels? I know that hormone levels can alter psycho/emotional states as well.
Why the increase right now?
Posted by Marty on September 18, 2021 at 4:18 pm
It has been a combination of things
In the natural aging process, the last year and a half I have declined or my chronic pain and endurance have deteriorated to the point of not being able to do side work
Repair things or build a deck on my slow take a break schedule
Remember I have a lifetime of athletic injuries to my appendages
Then my triple rollover and subsequent fusions and nerve killings have not helped.
Being an Ace kid, an abused kid I have had chronic fatigue and Gillian beret
being completely paralyzed for two months, my peripheral nerves were destroyed
After rebuilding I had lost strength and most of my endurance
I was in ICU for two months and then rehab for another two months
This is all trauma-related from childhood Redid 96
To be alive at 70 is a miracle with my abuse and what the Adverse Childhood Experience details
Covid and quarantine took my symptom of avoidance
They made it the law to wear a face mask, hiding in plain sight, then they documented keep a six-foot space
Science our healthcare leaders told us other people are dangerous
For a year, I hiked and went to grocery period
I never lived a year of life like this.
The old betrayal trauma I had buried underneath my childhood, exploded. This would never have seen the light of day without quarantine.
My mind never knew how to handle the betrayal, it would be the first and last person I trusted in my life.
I am just realizing things. I behaved like this without knowing the reasons. I never felt close to someone again at that level.
Recently someone pointed out how I depend in myself
I never had anyone in childhood or my life to give me support.
Some of that is my fault, in my world I never trusted to reach out.
The shame has not left me since
The worst thing anyone ever did to me, now haunts me
The combo of all this is
I do not want to be me
I resent what people have done to me
How do other people escape the abuse, and why did my girlfriend get gang-raped?
I had nothing to do with this abuse
How can you handle public betrayal after my childhood
Is it a joke that some supreme being thought I needed to be betrayed because my childhood was not enough?
I do not see the humanity in my existence when my PTSD is active
And at 70, I do not have a job
I have no desire to travel to any destination
No desire to join any group
I do not even trust to share my feelings or what I face with anyone
I write on here and share
I am understood on here
And if someone attacks I deal with it quickly
When I go out now, I feel totally separate from them and their lives.
They have no idea what terror has lived between my ears
Look at the effort I have given the last 12 years
At 70 Rudid96
It’s a whole lifetime of experiences I share
The damage has stolen so much
I do not want to be reincarnated or have to endure something like this again