Ptsd impacts our inner circle

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Ptsd develops two ways after a trauma event, some get all the symptoms immediately and others go decades before another stressor launches the disorder.

Mine lay dormant until my late 50’s when a family crisis abruptly changes my life forever.

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After a decade-plus of intense therapy and practice, PTSD is still alive and kicking.

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An old trauma has sabotaged my initial gains, throwing me back into the mess.

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What is my purpose?

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Healing has fallen from the ranks of expectation.

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I do not expect to heal, do not expect to wake up one day like new.

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My purpose has changed from thinking I would heal completely to trying to be present every minute possible.

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I play defense when PTSD pounds my being, determined, refusing to make any judgments.

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Surviving with a good attitude is my purpose.

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Maybe my purpose is to show others not to give up.

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Sounds noble, is it possible?

Suffering for the hell of it does not work for me.

We are fighting a two-headed monster PTSD and depression.

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Find what healing tools work for you and try to perfect them.

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Fight every day, take healing action, be courageous and then be at peace with life and your effort.

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We need to make it through the helpless, hopeless times, last until the spell of PTSD breaks.

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There is an ebb and flow of trauma, like the ebb and flow of chronic pain.

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Pain does not stay constant, either does PTSD.

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Anything that has variation can be conquered. If my pain fluctuates, something is impacting it. I can make it fluctuate then and I did.

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Moral of story: Never give up, never give in.

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Some satisfaction and happiness are contained inside the effort.

It would be easy to give up, numb myself with drugs and alcohol, waiting for death, kind of the cowardly way out.

I have responsibilities and a few desires left, allowing me to play defense and not give up.

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I have an obligation to my daughter and grandkids, my behavior impacts them.

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Do I show them weakness, succumb to my abuse, or do they see grandpa giving all-out effort.

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People are watching us, are we role models?

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Good luck, it is a harsh life we were dealt.

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