https://www.pinterest.com/pin/1759287334340656/. This quote celebrates a change for the better. Childhood abuse rearranges the pieces of our brain as kids, but it is not an improvement, rather a survival skill to keep our being alive.. after my ptsd exploded, my friends all knew my pieces were scrambled.
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In my view, if you follow this blog, PTSD defines many parts of life.
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When my childhood abuse exploded in my late 50’s, Ptsd dominated life.
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I went agoraphobic in six months, my fight or flight mechanism fired 15 times a day, intense fear and anxiety paralyzed me.
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I feared triggers worse than death, then it was what my mind would put me through after a trigger fired, that did the most damage.
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The last decade-plus has been a 24/7 all-out effort to heal, a fight to get my life back.
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PTSD dominates my life whether I focus intently on daily improvement or deny PTSD altogether.
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PTSD is not something we put away in the closet, the trigger button to fire our fight or flight mechanism is not in our hands.
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Ignoring PTSD, how’s that going? Does anyone with childhood abuse and complex ptsd have the ability to ignore your ptsd when it is active?
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How can I say PTSD does not define me?
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At 70, my childhood abuse dominates my thoughts, secretes low levels of cortisol and adrenaline, brings me feelings of betrayal and worthlessness, destroys my desires, and leaves me a depressive victim at times.
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I had successes, healing moments and improvement, but the daily battle for my wellbeing lives on.
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If ptsd does not define my life, my challenges, my suffering, then what does?
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I do not take offense when someone tells me ptsd defines me. I agree wholeheartedly.
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I do not carry guilt for what has happened to me, accepting as a kid I was a pure victim.
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Does PTSD define you?
Are we like alcoholics who deny their drinking controls them?
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by Marty on August 22, 2021 at 4:23 pm
In the last decade besides meditating daily for hours, reading voraciously and practicing healing skills, I tried EFT, TFT, EMDR, hypnosis, cranial sacral, acupuncture, CBT, ACT, EDIT, holistic, two intuitives, internal family system, etc.
That seems like a lot of time invested so I could at least leave the house or go to a restaurant again
I would be dead if I had not focused full time trying to get my life back
It was not much of a decision
Stay a victim or fight, take action
So I have no issue with ptsd defining my life, ptsd does not control it
I was prescribed 350 mg of Effexor when 75 mg is a normal dose
My therapist and prescribing psychologist thought is was extremely serious condition
Posted by rudid96 on August 22, 2021 at 5:00 pm
Does PTSD define me?
I used to unequivocally respond “no.” I was ignorant of the trauma despite the facts. I believed the lies I was taught. In my 50’s, 3 major events collided to explode the trauma that was below the surface. Now, my response to the initial question is “yes, trauma defines me.” Once you see it and feel it, PTSD outlines a life.
Mindful Marty, I regularly follow your blog because of your authenticity of experience and because I find your knowledge to be the deluxe crayon box of PTSD self-help tools. They don’t erase the outline but rather, help me to color my days differently and make life a little more livable.
Posted by Marty on August 22, 2021 at 5:10 pm
We fight and take daily action
Not giving up is more important than any label
On the discussion board just writing about victim
Would send them into a frenzy
My wisdom
I told them if a word could upset them they would never heal
As a child, I was a victim
No shame there
But remaining a victim is
Posted by Marty on August 22, 2021 at 5:11 pm
Thank you Redit