A Canary in a Cage,,,,,,,,,,,Awareness

https://pixabay.com/users/rafarabassa92-4203873/

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This idea is from “Forgive what you can not forget”, we need an awareness as keen as a canary in a cage as we go down into the coal mine, to the depths of our abuse.

I take everything way to personally, never forget the damage inflicted by others and look to discredit or do damage back.

That canary would be in the emergency room headed for ICU without some awareness.

Looks like I steered a decade of in depth meditation around forgiveness. Five hours a day for five years and forgiveness was coated with Teflon.

If I were Superman this is my kyrtonite, my blind spot, my habit of blaming others, being extremely rigid and shallow.

Whew that’s a harsh assessment, truly expected from my inner critic. My inner critic is viscous.

He is an expert at criticism, a failure at approval, acceptance, wellbeing.

It’s a pessimistic attitude, when I take a step back. That brings a sadness to my soul.

Hard to be reasonable when I am outraged, projecting dads constant criticism to present life.

Man, blinds spots are so obvious to others.

With all my reading, therapy and meditation how did this giant stay hidden.

My therapists never pointed this out.

Or did I never hear them?

This is all good, discovery is awesome, maybe painful but it is the path.

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