The Healer of our Pain



From “Forgive What you can not forget“

That person who hurt me may be the cause of the pain. But they are not capable of being the healer of my pain. Or the restorer of my life.”



My two cents: In some way we all want our abusers to pay, want them to acknowledge their offense and show contrition or some remorse.

Maybe we entertain scenarios of revenge in our fantasies, rewriting past wrongs.

I know my actions have giving life, power to my abusers.

Forgiveness is the key to freedom, wellbeing.

This is my new goal, forgive my abusers.

3 responses to this post.

  1. I can see real wellbeing as the reward for forgiving my abusers.

    Revenge and anger were taught to me by my narcissistic father

    I never saw my father apologize or have any remorse

    He hated people who challenged or crossed him

    This is an awareness that I never saw but somehow repeated in my life

  2. Posted by rudid96 on July 13, 2021 at 1:26 pm

    I’m not looking for “revenge.” I seek to simply wipe the abusers from my daily awareness. They are truly dust in the wind. When my mind travels in their direction, I’ve adopted a technique that you shared about following the breath. I follow 4 breaths. In my mind’s eye, I acknowledge the thought. I breathe it in as if in a box, top, right side, and left side. The bottom is where my imagined box is open. In that final breath, I breathe out the thought. Expunging that thought as just one randomly triggered thought. No attachment, just breathing it out. That’s my adopted practice.

  3. That is a good distraction and a great tool

    But that does not heal the problem

    That thought has energy and trauma for you

    It has power

    How,will you take the power away from your abusers

    Not by distraction

    Look at how we despise forgiving

    It is our Achilles heal

    I have come to far to let forgiveness steal my chance at freedom

    My egos pride has harms me enough

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