Friends tell me PTSD is a choice, choose not to think about PTSD and it will disappear.
.
I am lost I guess, after a decade of work, PTSD being a choice is the farthest from the truth in my trauma world.
I get frustrated with the simplistic solutions that do not work for me.
My PTSD runs on its own without any help from me. I have been asked if I really want to heal or do I want to suffer with PTSD.
How do you answer such an uniformed insult?
We are supposed to ignore our trauma, our triggers and assume a normal posture, a normal life.
At my worst, my fight or flight firing 15 times a day, my body filled with cortisol and adrenaline, agoraphobia took root.
Somehow, someway, my desires should go back to normal.
My desires have never been normal, my life has never been normal, abuse always nullified desire for me.
I tried to not think about PTSD yesterday.
Is there something I am missing like this is a cure.
Nothing changed.
People do not understand violent childhood abuse.
This isolates me more, my tendency is to pull away from these voices.
My life, my PTSD, frustrates people, there is always an answer, always a cure, always a happy ending.
Damn what a life this is.
.
.
PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by Don't Lose Hope on June 16, 2021 at 2:00 pm
PTSD is never a choice!
Posted by rudid96 on June 16, 2021 at 2:17 pm
I hear you, Mindful Marty. Agree, it’s NEVER a “choice.” Who would choose to live like this?
Your readers understand. Your voice echoes that of so many others.
In this moment, I wish for your soul to find some respite and be at peace.
Posted by Marty on June 16, 2021 at 3:04 pm
Should we feel like a failure that we can not wish Ptsd away
Oh it happened a long time ago
Guys who gangraped your girlfriend probably have remorse now
Really
I think they raped more women in their life
How does trauma become benign with age
Has never happened for me
Trauma gets worse with age in my experience
Why can’t I be like them
Why can’t I just let ptsd go
Is this further proof of my flawed
Core
I do not live up to the expectations of others that is for sure
That looks like failure does it not
And these people think they are helping
Think they can tell you how you can be normal quickly
It brings a sadness
Posted by Marty on June 16, 2021 at 3:09 pm
That’s my belief
Few
Very few understand a violent abusive childhood and the damage it does to a
Kids mind
Twice yesterday I was told Ptsd is a choice
Just do not think or say anything about PTSD and in a short while
Zazaam healing will happen
My head is mush trying to deal with this
We are failures to these people
Our struggles are much simpler and benign than we ever knew
My inner critic salivates in PTSD being a choice
If that is true I am an abject failure
And I do not believe that for a second
Posted by Deb on June 16, 2021 at 4:33 pm
I think most of us who are struggling to deal with the aftermath of childhood trauma have been told to just get over it because it happened so long ago. To me, this goes right along with the assumption that time heals all wounds. Since so much time has passed, if we’re not over it the obvious reason is our unwillingness to choose to be healed.
I’ve learned not to speak of my childhood to most people. Even the most well-meaning don’t get it. The truth is, I didn’t have a choice in my abuse and trauma, and I don’t have a choice in living with PTSD, and anything else that I’ve suffered in the aftermath of that violent childhood. I don’t see how anyone could think for a moment that any of us would choose to live this way.
Posted by Marty on June 16, 2021 at 4:39 pm
Very thoughtful and accurate assessment
I try not to share
I find it hard when someone says just think other thoughts
Do they not know Ptsd runs when it feels like it
I can let go and battle but
When it is running full speed, constantly
How do u not think about the danger our nervous system sees a d responds to
I think myself as strong with an ability to take action but I am weak in their minds
When I die I do not want a second chance
I have suffered enough in this life
I surrender
Posted by Americana Injustica on July 2, 2021 at 9:40 pm
Hi all, I just wanted to stop in and offer my support here to a fellow sufferer. I, as an adult, can read posts such as this and become enraged and hostile towards “normies” who insist on commenting on the processes of damaged people who are trying to heal from violence and traumatic backgrounds.
As a helpless victim, a child does what is necessary to survive, instinctively.
But, after growing up, those instincts can’t help us anymore, our bodies physiolologically take over with coping day to day. And, just like a child has no control over the mechanisms as work,
there is NO CHOICE in it.
Posted by Marty on July 2, 2021 at 10:41 pm
It’s a big challenge