People tell me PTSD is a choice


Friends tell me PTSD is a choice, choose not to think about PTSD and it will disappear.

Pixabay ArtsyBee

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I am lost I guess, after a decade of work, PTSD being a choice is the farthest from the truth in my trauma world.

I get frustrated with the simplistic solutions that do not work for me.

My PTSD runs on its own without any help from me. I have been asked if I really want to heal or do I want to suffer with PTSD.

How do you answer such an uniformed insult?

We are supposed to ignore our trauma, our triggers and assume a normal posture, a normal life.

At my worst, my fight or flight firing 15 times a day, my body filled with cortisol and adrenaline, agoraphobia took root.

Somehow, someway, my desires should go back to normal.

My desires have never been normal, my life has never been normal, abuse always nullified desire for me.

I tried to not think about PTSD yesterday.

Is there something I am missing like this is a cure.

Nothing changed.

People do not understand violent childhood abuse.

This isolates me more, my tendency is to pull away from these voices.

My life, my PTSD, frustrates people, there is always an answer, always a cure, always a happy ending.

Damn what a life this is.

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8 responses to this post.

  1. PTSD is never a choice!

  2. Posted by rudid96 on June 16, 2021 at 2:17 pm

    I hear you, Mindful Marty. Agree, it’s NEVER a “choice.” Who would choose to live like this?
    Your readers understand. Your voice echoes that of so many others.
    In this moment, I wish for your soul to find some respite and be at peace.

  3. Should we feel like a failure that we can not wish Ptsd away

    Oh it happened a long time ago

    Guys who gangraped your girlfriend probably have remorse now

    Really

    I think they raped more women in their life

    How does trauma become benign with age

    Has never happened for me

    Trauma gets worse with age in my experience

    Why can’t I be like them

    Why can’t I just let ptsd go

    Is this further proof of my flawed
    Core

    I do not live up to the expectations of others that is for sure

    That looks like failure does it not

    And these people think they are helping

    Think they can tell you how you can be normal quickly

    It brings a sadness

  4. That’s my belief

    Few

    Very few understand a violent abusive childhood and the damage it does to a
    Kids mind

    Twice yesterday I was told Ptsd is a choice

    Just do not think or say anything about PTSD and in a short while

    Zazaam healing will happen

    My head is mush trying to deal with this

    We are failures to these people
    Our struggles are much simpler and benign than we ever knew

    My inner critic salivates in PTSD being a choice

    If that is true I am an abject failure

    And I do not believe that for a second

  5. Posted by Deb on June 16, 2021 at 4:33 pm

    I think most of us who are struggling to deal with the aftermath of childhood trauma have been told to just get over it because it happened so long ago. To me, this goes right along with the assumption that time heals all wounds. Since so much time has passed, if we’re not over it the obvious reason is our unwillingness to choose to be healed.

    I’ve learned not to speak of my childhood to most people. Even the most well-meaning don’t get it. The truth is, I didn’t have a choice in my abuse and trauma, and I don’t have a choice in living with PTSD, and anything else that I’ve suffered in the aftermath of that violent childhood. I don’t see how anyone could think for a moment that any of us would choose to live this way.

  6. Very thoughtful and accurate assessment

    I try not to share

    I find it hard when someone says just think other thoughts

    Do they not know Ptsd runs when it feels like it

    I can let go and battle but

    When it is running full speed, constantly

    How do u not think about the danger our nervous system sees a d responds to

    I think myself as strong with an ability to take action but I am weak in their minds

    When I die I do not want a second chance

    I have suffered enough in this life

    I surrender

  7. Hi all, I just wanted to stop in and offer my support here to a fellow sufferer. I, as an adult, can read posts such as this and become enraged and hostile towards “normies” who insist on commenting on the processes of damaged people who are trying to heal from violence and traumatic backgrounds.
    As a helpless victim, a child does what is necessary to survive, instinctively.
    But, after growing up, those instincts can’t help us anymore, our bodies physiolologically take over with coping day to day. And, just like a child has no control over the mechanisms as work,
    there is NO CHOICE in it.

  8. It’s a big challenge

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