PTSD – A Way Out.com A mindful way to heal

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By connecting with our inner-child, we gain access to new information about our unhealed wounds, and the needs that may not have been met when we were actually children.

Then, “reparenting” becomes the process of meeting those needs and practicing self-care so we can operate in the world as happy, functional adults.

Susan Anderson, the author of the Journey from Abandonment to Healing explains the layers of inner-child work in 3 parts – the Inner-Child, the Outer-Child and the Adult Self. Her explanation is really helpful when we seek to understand our own coping mechanisms and behavior patterns on a deeper level. My descriptions for the inner and outer child are adapted from her work.

Below, I cover how to identify your inner and outer child, the wounded inner child and the integrated adult. Then, we move onto how to reconnect, nurture and heal the inner-child.

….Inner-Child

The “little you” – tender, emotional. Your inner-child is the innocent part of you – all about feelings and your primal needs.

Vulnerable and innocent

Deep feeling and sensitivity

Curious, creative and playful

Craves love, recognition, and validation

Desires connection and safety

Open-minded

Total in expression – be it anger, sadness, joy

….Outer-Child

Responsible for self-defeating behaviors, self-sabotage. The outer child responds to the inner-child and can over-protect by acting out.

Self-defeating behaviors

Loss of control over behavior and reactions

Uncalibrated in the expression of anger

Impatient and impulsive

Self-centered and focused on having needs met

Sabotages your inner-growth and fights change

Over-protects inner-child by pushing love away

…..Wounded Inner-Child

Response to emotional or psychological neglect.

A deep-seated belief that you are broken.

Fear of abandonment and loss of love.

Insecure and low-self esteem.

Loss of self in an attempt to gain approval from others.

Fearful of setting boundaries or saying “no”.

Seeking instant-gratification through substances, shopping, distraction, and procrastination.

https://risingwoman.com/inner-child-work-healing-trauma-self-acceptance/

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