PTSD: The need to pivot, adapt our healing journey

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My focus has changed, searching and integrating past trauma has been replaced. I have spent way to much time dealing with trauma memories and triggers.

Now, my healing path deals with my current reactions to right now. Following every situation in this moment, I strive to understand and not react immediately.

This is a drastic change in my approach to healing.

I have become way to sensitive to outside stimulus, reacting irrationally to insignificant situations.

This is fertile ground for improvement.

The fear of loss combined with my compromised nervous system impacts my life negatively.

Underlying this fear of loss is unworthiness at my core.

If I integrated all of my trauma, this unworthiness would still remain unfazed. The fear of loss is an abstract thought, given power through my nervous system but highly damaging to living free.

This is exciting for me.

I see opportunity, a chance to improve.

We all get lost inside our childhood trauma from time to time.

Therapy was responsible for some of my improvement however the majority of healing happened while I was alone.

Without exploring my inner world thoroughly I would be lost in the irrationality of PTSD.

This realization has taken a decade of relentless work to uncover.

Now, I am trying to change, working on my nervous system and this unworthiness.

The difference, I am working on changing it in this moment, the next stimulus, not the past.

Thoughts on this serpentine road.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Beautiful and inspiring. Yes, we need to look at our trauma. Insight and understanding are important. But working on changing in this moment is important too.

  2. Thank you

    We journey together

    Our insights can help others at times

    I write to share and to understand my path

  3. You insights are much appreciated!

  4. Posted by rudid96 on May 30, 2021 at 4:45 pm

    The stages of healing have been referenced by any number of healing professionals. My journey is one of the concentric circle models. Some of the trauma bread crumbs are easier to step around than others. One way of learning to let go of painful experiences is by working with the body. It’s a slow, deliberate process but I’m finding some success. However, the residue of emotional abuse is more than crumbs. Rewriting the mental script of worthlessness & shame in connection with people proves to be much more difficult & heavier lifting.

  5. I know your doing the work

    Keep going

    If I judge today as horrible

    Wonder it tomorrow is worse

    Conclusion

    Do not judge today

    Live it

    I need to hear this

    If I just this hamburger as awful after the first bite

    How do you think the rest of lunch is going to taste

    This is the best burger with the ingredients available

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