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The science of childhood trauma says relationships will be difficult if not damn near impossible with many people.
Our minds are not free, moving on quickly from certain stimulus does not happen. What our friends slough off easily haunts us.
I am on guard and wary while friends are free and oblivious to the danger. While I spot danger, a friend will not even know others exist all around us.
I wonder how that is possible!
How can their nervous system not be ready, mine reacts involuntarily and quickly. So their nervous system is calm, relaxed, at ease where mine prepares for battle.
When mundane situations trigger me while with friends or a date, it is embarrassing, sometimes it feels humiliating.
The big difference is what happens inside our minds, how our friends feel and see nothing but mundane behavior, while our nervous system spots imminent danger and reacts.
Since my trauma has erupted again navigating people has become to costly emotionally for me.
So much trauma is active with me trying to heal, I struggle in the midst of this violent storm.
Have you ever felt not part of the world, like we are living a different reality than others.
What I face my friends have no clue, I watch how they live and think.
How can life be so free and safe for them?
Relationships are a mine field for us.
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 