My hybrid survival mode existence

https://pixabay.com/users/mohamed_hassan-5229782/

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Hiding deep under all conscious thought or memory, I have discovered hard wired core beliefs.

In childhood, functioning in survivor mode, fear of loss and failure was a constant threat from my father.

Now, I find my nervous system occupied with perceived threats, every situation seems to contain a chance of failure. This feeling of danger has stealthily impacted my nervous system and existence.

My fight or flight mechanism does not fire full throttle but the worry of impending failure lives on.

My nervous system never relaxes in a crowd, never feels safe and secure, always wants to escape perceived danger.

All of these worries happen quickly without thought. It precedes thought, I have discovered.

Danielle Young, LPC, NCC writes:

“The thinking brain begins to dim, similar to that of a light switch, and instead our trauma brain or survival brain, begins to brighten. When that light dims, we loose the ability to use these skills effectively. Our survival brain reacts impulsivity in order to maintain self-preservation; it’s tells us that using the executive functioning skills will take too much time to process the information and that safety cannot be guaranteed. The survival brain is trying to keep us alive, but it can make everything feel much more difficult.”

A hybrid survival mode brain has thrived under my normal functioning thinking brain.

All the chances of wellbeing are lost in survival mode.

It has taken years of inner exploration, meditating, to uncover this dysfunctional mode of living.

I think this is the final peeling of the onion, my PTSD core strength is hidden in survival mode.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Hybrid Survival Brain. Genius way of framing your evolution. “Final peeling of the onion” This is what I see for you too Marty!

  2. Well we can not pick our birth caregivers

    The ultimate lottery

    But a spiritual teacher I stumbled upon online
    Gave me special insight

    She said maybe a different caregiver would of been worse

    I never thought of that

    She said my toxic masculinity was the man who observed my trauma

    Let him go and I am free

    You understand my words

    Not many realize my experience

    This documentary made a big impact

    Thank you for taking the time in your busy day to respond

    I have gratitude for your kindness

    https://cptsdawayout.com/2021/05/12/the-mask-you-live-in/

    We accept our burden and exert maximum effort

    What else is there

    You lead a whole younger generation

    You are I trusted with conveying what a healer is and is not

    Is that a burden or a destiny

  3. Posted by rudid96 on May 21, 2021 at 2:26 pm

    Do people with C-PTSD ever become like ‘normal’ folk; social engagement is spontaneous, tools for self-regulation are held lightly, without the life or death grip. The hardest part of this journey – Nah, who am I kidding, every part is hard, however, a mysterious part has been doing somatic work. That’s where the body remembers what I thought was long ago forgotten. As Mindful Marty has said, it’s peeling an onion, layer after layer. My guess is like most living things, my history will leave a footprint but my hope is I’ll be more in charge of directing my steps.

  4. We will never be like normal folk and for us trying to be like them will only bring suffering

    We are not less we are different

    Our mind hard wired differently so no we will never be like them but we can be our best version

    I have a post coming in just how my mind focuses on danger above all else

    Usually it’s emotional danger

    PTSD danger

  5. grief counseling therapy Ontario Do you feel depressed or debilitating? Our grief counselling & therapy session provides the support needed for you when it feels very difficult to get through https://www.beingtherapy.ca/services/grief-counselling-sessions/

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