Inner drugstore and negative excitement drugs



From Adult Children of Alcoholics: Inner Drug Store:

“For every emotion we feel, a corresponding biochemical substance is automatically released in our bodies. Think about how the felt sense of anger is different from the felt sense of calm or amusement. Especially for those of us who have trouble connecting with our bodies or our emotions, these chemical changes may happen below our level of awareness. But they still happen.

The inner drug store is not all bad. There are bottles of joy, peacefulness, and spirituality to name a few. But we Adult Children often gravitate toward the drugs of negative excitement.

Growing up in dysfunctional households, our everyday state can become one of hypervigilance. Am I safe? What mood is Mom in? We walk on eggshells trying to be invisible. Dad’s car just pulled in the driveway, is he drunk? We scan the house for things that might anger him and quickly try to neutralize them.

Or perhaps we were ignored or emotionally abandoned by our parents, creating anxiety and the general feeling of being alone and unsafe. Our normal can become anxiety and fear. And since it is perhaps all we have ever known, and since we may already have learned to shut down access to our feelings and our bodies, we may not even be aware of our anxiety.

Hypervigilance creates a stress response in the body, it even releases dopamine in our brains. As children, our small bodies are marinated in those chemicals. Even if we have never taken a drink of alcohol nor any drugs, we are all addicts. We, as Adult Children, learn to be addicted to our own inner drug stores. We can subconsciously seek out situations which recreate these feelings.

Emotional Intoxication is getting high on our inner drug store.

The more I understand it, the less it controls me. – (Jarvis)

“Subconsciously” is an important concept here. Generally, we don’t consciously choose to take these actions. It may be like breathing. Our minds are in control of that process, but normally we aren’t consciously aware of taking each breath. If we were we might have trouble thinking about anything else.

The subconscious mind takes over certain processes. I think maintaining our “normal” level of emotional intoxication or sobriety may be one of those. If we were raised in a dysfunctional home, our normal can be anxiety and fear. And we seek to re-create what is normal for each of us.”



My two cents: This seems to be part of childhood abuse (trauma), our future C-PTSD.

So besides our abuse we have a subconscious addiction to negative excitement drugs.

PTSD intrusive thoughts must cause more of these negative excitement drugs to secrete when triggered.

Couple this with our fight or flight mechanism drugs and we have an anxious PTSD zombie.

Lots of things to unplug on our way to well being.



7 responses to this post.

  1. This links directly to the effects of farinaceous foods (wheat, grains) and sugar, which, like humans and animals, have been genetecially modified since least the Sumerian times (we lack access to previous texts) to make human neurology prone to trauma and addiction. A class of slaves was bred.

  2. This is so stealthy we do not know why we act like we do

  3. We can unlearn their lies. Refusing the drugs they make to change our brains is the first step to freedom. Then diet changes. Then we begin to see what they have been hiding. Stealthy is right. The serpent is more than symbolism. Great article, Marty. Hugs!

  4. Explains a lot

    Part of our childhood ptsd

  5. Posted by rudid96 on May 20, 2021 at 9:46 pm

    When one has been born into dysregulation, threat, and drama, it’s no wonder the fallout of anxiety, depression, rage, & isolation is the natural home for the child grown to an adult. I’m learning to use mindfulness, & following the breath for slowing down the automaticity of the body reactions. My body reacts way faster than my thoughts. It’s quite a job peeling back layer upon layer, working towards unearthing a state of being that excludes the dysfunction. Hard for all parts of the Self to believe there’s someone under all that debrie.

  6. All these symptoms could be explained by ptsd also

  7. No one has to do this work alone. It is so interwoven in our brain and bodies, it takes a miracle to unravel. And we have a Miracle Worker in our HIgher Power. I start there and ask for help.

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