The Dark Side of Childhood abuse



PTSD has a physical side, the firing of our fight or flight mechanism, tunnel vision, higher bp, respiration and heart rate along with loss of fine motor skills.

PTSD also has a cognitive side filled with intrusive thoughts, coupled with scary and violent emotions.

Trust disappears in childhood, fear is our dominate emotion, survival mode is how we live.

This is a barren landscape for any child, few attachments develop and our self image is seriously flawed, incomplete.

Some of these traits are hard wired and will haunt us for life.

Improvement is possible however our demons will always be near and explode from time to time.

As an old guy now, I see the suffering of a lifetime because of my first caregivers abuse.

Why are some of us doomed from birth to a life of suffering?

Friends with decent childhoods tell me I should just get over it, we all have a choice.

PTSD has never been a choice for me. How do you trust friends who say things like that?

With the exception of this blog, no one I know has a clue what impact PTSD has in my life.

Some think it is weakness to let PTSD dominate me like it does at times.

You lose so called friends and it is not a nice break up.

Seems not trusting others has a purpose.

My mind has never lived a day without trauma from my earliest memory.

What does a life feel like with a decent childhood?



2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by rudid96 on May 1, 2021 at 3:58 pm

    I don’t know about a “decent childhood” without narcissistic abuse and neglect. However, what I DO know is what it’s like to live hiding PTSD/C-PTSD. Going along to get along with family and “friends.” In a word, it’s EMPTY. There’s never a safe place to discover who or what you’re about.
    No one, save a very select few and this blog knows anything. It’s great for maintaining the face of social propriety but is detrimental to creating and maintaining trust and human connections in life.

  2. I know you understand Rudid96

    It is comforting to have a few who understand

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: