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Abused children overdevelop the defense mechanism while revving up their nervous system. Being anxious, hypervigilant becomes second nature to us, it is how we navigate the world.
The abused child thoughts and emotions with be totally different. The abused child will be more detached, prone to large segments of time dissociating (ruminating on Trauma thoughts and emotions).
One is in survival mode, the other calm, present and looking to take risks. The abused child grows up to fear loss, public loss even more.
Unbelievable, is it not?
A loved child feels secure, supported which forms a strong attachment to their first caregivers. The opposite happened to the abused child.
The abused child grows up not trusting, being guarded, skeptical, the loved child already has strong attachments which built a foundation of trust.
Loved kids grow up to be trusting adults.
Being loved as a child does not exclude anyone from experiencing trauma later in life but that foundation of love gives them a great chance of healing.
One child feels confident, secure, the other searches for any self worth or kindness. It is a life time of searching, trying to fix what was missing in our childhood.
One craves approval, runs from criticism, feels unworthy, while the other has confidence and autonomy, lives with a sense of worthiness.
Growing up, the abused one, becomes hypervigilance and paranoid around others, seeking a safe place above all else. Risk is way to risky for us.
The loved one feels safe in a group and builds attachments with ease. He/She has way more perspective and resilience if a crisis arrives.
The abused adult will have to battle his brain for the rest of his life. If he/she has the courage to fight it, all that time invested in healing, is time not enjoying life.
I am aware of how much time, childhood abuse has stolen.
Any differences you are aware of?
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 