The Minds Journal

.

.

Daily childhood abuse made an imprint. Everyday in childhood, the unknown danger would materialize. It was real, concrete and painful.

I had no ability to influence my abuse or abuser.

Each week would bring more terror, more pain. Then an uneasy feeling became permanent, I felt like something bad was going to happen.

In childhood it did.

This morning, I felt that uneasiness. My awareness noticed this was a subconscious trait that has gone unnoticed.

It is nothing like childhood, it is the remnants of that time, the residual of abuse on my nervous system and brain.

I have found many subconscious things running from my childhood.

They were all mechanisms to survive the moment but do more harm now.

We have to unplug these.

My body fearing the unknown like this, has been practiced at least 65 years.

Many are very subtle, stealthy, not thought, an uneasy feeling, abstract nothing concrete.

I have tried to unplug this invisible prison many times.

Everything goes along well until a crisis hits, then all hell breaks loose.

.